The joy of gay sex

Anal sex, Barebacking, Cruising-the ABCs of gay male sexuality get neatly presented here in an encyclopedic format with a savvy, knowledgeable attitude. A good number of the entries, though, seem unnecessary: perfunctory explanations of kissing ("an integral part of the entire experience of making love"), pornography ("the object is to turn you on") and phone sex ("use adjectives describing yourself and your favorite sexual scenes. If you don't know which words to use, watch a porn video and note those words that turn you on"), for example, will enlighten only the very inexperienced. Psychologist Silverstein and author-poet Picano make a notable attempt in this edition to define crucial elements of the "changing sociopolitical landscape of gay men's lives in the early twenty-first century" by including such topics as HIV "cocktail" treatments, bisexuality and transgenderism and the internet's role in helping fetishists connect. But many entries continue to feel sanitized, despite the authors' decision to use sexual slang and expletives. Others need a dose of editorial Viagra to provide clued-in readers with the kind of candid, useful information they might be searching for. Entries addressing issues such as domestic violence, gay liberation and civil rights feel out of place in a manual dedicated to the machinations of sexuality complete with illustrations depicting everything from fisting to sex parties. Originally published in 1977, four years after the American Psychiatric Association reversed its decision labeling homosexuality a mental disorder, The Joy of Gay Sex continues to be a popular resource due to its "permissive tone about sex," an important feature and one that has been carefully retained in this revised edition. Readers may object to the title (which lacks the word "male"), the illustrations (which almost solely feature wiry, tattooed and hairless men) and some of the theories (the "daddy/son scene" may be enjoying increased popularity owing to a "greater need for good parenting"), but this is nevertheless a needed title. (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved All rights reserved.

Psychologist Silverstein and Picano, a published novelist and poet, have expanded this classic (first published in 1977 and last updated in 1993) with more than 100 pages and 30 new entries and strengthened coverage of cautionary topics while not stinting on pleasure, fun, and games. They excel in their discussion of HIV, drugs, and medical, social, and psychological topics; however, the attractive, erotic illustrations should have been supplemented by a few diagrams and charts. A lengthy resource section at the end features many organizational referrals but is less comprehensive for books and web sites-and is curiously light on books about gay sex. This book is recommended for public libraries as the longest-running, most recent, and most comprehensive gay male sex manual, but librarians should also consider Jack Hart's Gay Sex (2d ed.), which, although dated, is especially strong on sex techniques and variations and includes many more web sites and more sex books in the bibliography. Specialty manuals like Jack Morin's Anal Pleasure & Health and the "Ultimate Guide" series from Cleis Press are also suggested. And don't neglect lesbians-start with Felice Newman's The Whole Lesbian Sex Book.-Martha Cornog, Philadelphia (c) Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

The Joy of Gay Sex Fully revised and expanded third edition Chapter One Anus Culturally induced ears have given many people phobias about their assholes. This bias against the anus is unreasonable. True, it is used for elimination, but so is the penis--yet that objection has not made the latter organ any less attractive. The anus is not only an avenue for elimination but also a sexual organ. It is highly sensitive, as it is lined with particularly responsive nerve endings. Moreover, the anus is close to the prostate gland, and its stimulation is highly pleasurable. All trace of shit can be banished if one takes an enema before intercourse. Every drugstore sells disposable enemas or convenient bulb-shaped plastic ones. Most men who use them regularly keep them in their shower. Daily use of enemas, however, should be avoided, as it could create psychological dependence and/or physical damage to the small intestines. People who are just beginning to experiment with anal sex sometimes fear that sticking a large cock up the anus will tear the skin; proper lubrication and relaxation, however, will prevent pain or damage (see First Time ). More experienced men often worry that by repeatedly getting fucked they will lose muscle tone in their asshole. There is no research on this problem, but it seems that many of these worries are probably unfounded and may cover up feelings of guilt (see Guilt ). One occasionally finds gay men who disparage achieving sexual pleasure through their anuses. This might be a result of low self-esteem caused by the archaic notion that only women get fucked. This is both an insult to their own bodies and historically wrong, since men have found pleasure in their assholes since the time of the cavemen, as we've learned from pictographs. Barebacking Barebacking--fucking without a condom--is the single most dangerous sex practice there is (see Dangerous Sex ). As a method of sexual gratification, it's as old as recorded history. Until the arrival of AIDS, gay men never used condoms when fucking. In fact, pulling out before you came was considered rude. Until the mid-1980s, condoms were deemed kinky, a sex toy among gay men (see Condoms ). The AIDS epidemic caused a change in our way of having sex. As of December 2000, 775,000 people in the United States had been diagnosed with AIDS (the figure for HIV disease is much higher). One-half million have died (see HIV Disease). The worldwide statistics are even more alarming. Since we know so much about the transmission of the virus, fucking someone without a condom is equivalent to two men playing Russian roulette with each other. Younger men seem to be more attracted to barebacking. Perhaps these risk-taking men haven't watched the slow death of lovers and friends. For them,AIDS is history, like their learning about the Vietnam War. It's simply not in their experience, as it is for an older generation of gay men. That's too bad, because it's a statistical certainty that some of them are going to pay a price--the diagnosis of HIV disease. It would be a mistake, however, to look at barebacking only from a moral perspective. Recent research informs us that emotional problems influence a gay man's sexual behavior, including his contribution in transmitting the HIV. Depression is the main culprit. Gay men who are depressed, including both acute and chronic depression, are far more likely to participate in unsafe sex (see Depression ; Safe Sex ). Men with impulsive personalities, especially excitement seekers, are another category of psychologically impaired gay men. They generally describe themselves as "spontaneous," a claim that is untrue. A man who is spontaneous can make voluntary choices about his behavior; an impulsive man cannot. Both depression and impulsiveness can be effectively treated by both medication and psychotherapy. If you have a friend who is endangering his life by barebacking, ask yourself whether psychological problems might be the cause. If so, taking a moral approach won't change his behavior (nor will accusing him of stupidity). Help him to make an appointment with a shrink, but only one well versed in gay sex and HIV research. How does a responsible gay man (like you) fulfill his sexual desires, but not endanger himself and other gay men? If you're going to fuck, carry condoms. Have them in your night table in your bedroom. Insist that your sex partner use one if he's going to fuck you--"Put the condom on or put your clothes on." Ignore the entreaties of a man who says, "You can fuck me without a condom," especially since you can be sure that he said the same thing to the man who fucked him last night, and the night before, and ...(see Sexually Transmitted Diseases ). If, for some reason--either you are under the influence of alcohol or recreational drugs or a mix of both--you do bareback, be sure to get tested about a month later (see Booze and Highs ; Drug Abuse ; Drugs and Sex ).If you test negative,get tested again in two more months. If you believe that the man who fucked you might be HIV-positive, treatment with AZT is available. There may be a day when condoms are no longer necessary because AIDS scientists have successfully produced a vaccine. That's still years off. In the meantime, lovers who are both HIV-negative and who never trick out need not worry about the HIV or STDs. The Joy of Gay Sex Fully revised and expanded third edition . Copyright © by Charles Silverstein. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold. Excerpted from The Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein, Felice Picano All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.