Mister B. Gone

Clive Barker, 1952-

Book - 2007

A medieval devil speaks directly to the reader, his tone murderous one moment, seductive the next, in a memoir allegedly penned in the year 1438. The demon has embedded himself in the very words of this tale of terror, turning the book itself into a dangerous object, laced with menace only too ready to break free and exert its power.

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FICTION/Barker, Clive
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1st Floor FICTION/Barker, Clive Due Dec 4, 2024
Subjects
Published
New York : HarperCollins c2007.
Language
English
Main Author
Clive Barker, 1952- (-)
Edition
1st ed
Item Description
Printed on paper that has been treated to simulate aging.
Physical Description
248 p. ; 22 cm
ISBN
9780060182984
Contents unavailable.
Review by New York Times Review

Reading horror stories pretty inevitably involves the mental operation Samuel Taylor Coleridge called the "willing suspension of disbelief," and Lord knows it can be a challenge, even for genre-hardened veterans. The hero of "Best New Horror," the opening story in Joe Hill's inventive collection, 20TH CENTURY GHOSTS (Morrow/HarperCollins, $24.95), is a professional anthologist who has read, by his own count, "almost 10,000 stories of horror and the supernatural" in the course of compiling 16 annual volumes of "America's Best New Horror," and his willing-suspension-of-disbelief fatigue has become so acute that he can no longer finish most of the stories that land on his desk. His ennui is almost French in its intensity: "He felt weak at the thought of reading another story about vampires having sex with other vampires. He tried to struggle through Lovecraft pastiches, but at the first painfully serious reference to the Elder Gods, he felt some important part of him going numb inside, the way a foot or a hand will go to sleep when the circulation is cut off. He feared the part of him being numbed was his soul." I think we've all been there. One day, though, this jaded editor comes across a grisly little item by an unknown writer and finds himself, for the first time in a long while, disbelief-suspending with something like his old, unforced willingness. This story, "Buttonboy," has, he thinks, "the bread of everyday life" in it, rather than just the usual "rare bleeding meat"; he becomes so dangerously overexcited that he attempts to track down the author. What's remarkable about "Best New Horror" isn't that the story is savagely critical of the genre to which it belongs (though Hill's indictment of conventional horror is nervy stuff for a young writer), nor even that it's very, very scary, but rather that the narrative unfolds in a way that is consciously, and brazenly, predictable. The reader will not, in fact, be terribly surprised to learn that the editor's visit to the home of the mysterious writer proves to be a grievous error. The beauty of the tale is that the horror-weary editor isn't surprised either, and even takes a peculiar sort of satisfaction in the fulfillment of his direst expectations. "He knew better than anyone how these stories went," Hill writes, and in that sentence confers on his hero the dignity of a man coming to terms with something not merely predictable but inevitable - a man meeting his destiny stoically, even kind of nobly. Sure, it's a cheesy, pulp destiny, but it's as uniquely and irreducibly his as the fates of Borges's doomed knife-fighters and self-entrapped detectives are theirs. This is a horror fan's apotheosis. There are other fine stories in "20th Century Ghosts." "Pop Art," "You Will Hear the Locust Sing" and "Voluntary Committal" are all terrific, and the rest are, at a minimum, solid, swift and craftsmanlike. But "Best New Horror" seems to me the most thrillingly original of Hill's weird tales, a daredevil performance that keeps some complex ideas suspended in the air along with, of course, our usual disbelief. It's brave and astute of Hill to acknowledge that some part of the appeal of horror fiction - of any genre fiction, really - is its very predictability: the comfort of knowing, at least, what kind of story we're reading. This sad truth speaks directly to the vexed question of belief and disbelief because it suggests that for hard-core genre devotees the will to believe is perhaps a touch stronger than it ought to be - that the natural audience for horror consists of readers who are (with apologies to Fats Domino) ready, willing and able to suspend disbelief all night. What happens to that poor editor in "Best New Horror" is instructive: although he thinks that childish credulity has been burned out of him by those thousands of read and half-read stories, he discovers, to his sorrow (and sneaking pleasure), that it's still there, lurking in the shadows, waiting for a chance to sucker him one last time. Joe Hill has clearly given a fair amount of hard thought to the problematics of horror. It's his destiny, I suppose. He is, as he revealed shortly before the publication of his rambunctiously entertaining first novel, "Heart-Shaped Box," the son of Stephen and Tabitha King. "20th Century Ghosts" was originally published a couple of years ago in England, before the writer had outed himself as genre royalty, and you can sense in it the urgency of his desire to figure out how horror works, why so much of it is so bad and why, despite everything, it continues to matter to him. THESE are questions worth pondering, whether you're trying to write horror intelligently or simply reading a lot more of the stuff than is good for you. Before I came upon Hill's work, I'd been feeling discouraged about the current state of the genre, reading (and often abandoning) story after story that failed to persuade, failed to frighten, failed to stimulate whatever don't-go-there sensation it is we're looking for when we suspend disbelief, abandon hope and plunge into the dark forest of horror. I turned optimistically to the imago sequence (Night Shade, $24.95), the debut collection of the genre's other hot Kid, Laird Barron, and found within (there's no kind way of putting this) nothing but Lovecraft pastiches: stories of the kind that froze the soul of Joe Hill's hapless anthologist. Barron's a more ingenious Lovecraftian than most. He doesn't merely recycle the master's elaborate, harebrained "mythos" but adds (usually) his own strange spin to tales of ancient evil bubbling up in the modern world. He sometimes appears to have a hilariously literal take on Lovecraft's concept of the Old Ones, which customarily refers to a monstrous prehuman race whose survivors live underground in Godforsaken places like Antarctica and New England. In Barron's stories, these eons-old evildoers tend to manifest themselves in the form of sinister and irritable senior citizens. The problem with all these neo-Lovecraft jobs, though, is that even when they're as impressively peculiar as Laird Barron's, they feel secondhand, pointless, helplessly de trop. The mythology Lovecraft cooked up was, God help him, personal and passionate; it carries a whiff of madness. Lacking that authentic, unfakable, belief-compelling insanity, stories like those in "The Imago Sequence" can't achieve anything much better than nuttiness. And that's not scary. Reading Barron, though, I realized that part of the reason his stories leave me cold is that they assume, as too much genre fiction does, a highish level of reader credulity, and I resent it. What kind of reader do you think I am? I'm not easy. There's a telling passage in MISTER B. GONE (Harper/HarperCollins, $24.95), Clive Barker's execrable new novel - which is not about the death of George Balanchine but is the first-person narrative of a demon named Jakabok Botch, who surfaced from the underworld around the time Gutenberg was perfecting the printing press. "They want to believe," Barker/Botch writes. "No, strike that. They don't simply want to believe it. They need to." "They" are - genetically and apparently without exception - "people," and "it" is stories like this one, full of "venomous stuff." Although Barker has not in recent years come close to matching the brilliant shocks of the stories collected in his "Books of Blood" in the 1980s, many horror readers still approach his work with some degree of anticipation, a hope that he'll find his macabre touch again. But "Mister B. Gone" uses up the last small pocketful of that good will. The novel is thin, slovenly and grimly unwitty. You can't escape the melancholy feeling that this is what happens to writers who take our belief for granted. Joe Hill, refreshingly, does not And neither does the veteran John Shirley, whose latest book, LIVING SHADOWS (Prime, paper, $14.95), is subtitled "Stories: New and Preowned" because much of it has been previously published: some stories in earlier, out-of-print Shirley collections, others in small-press anthologies and obscure magazines. It's a greatest-hits album spanning a few decades of astonishingly consistent and rigorously horrifying work. In his foreword, Shirley insists that he doesn't write genre fiction, and although he's genuinely tough to categorize, all his stories - both the nonsupernatural ones that make up the first half of "Living Shadows" and the more fantastic tales in the second half - give off the chill of top-grade horror. It's a moral chill, because Shirley's great subject is the terrible ease with which we modern Americans have learned to look away from pain and suffering. The opening line of his novel "Demons" states the theme succinctly: "It's amazing what you can get used to." In "The Sewing Room," one of the new stories in the present collection, an ordinary woman discovers, to her horror, that her husband is a serial murderer, and we discover, to ours, that she can live with it. Shirley's dramatis personae tend to be fairly unpleasant folks: killers, petty criminals, drug dealers, end-of-the-line substance abusers, Hollywood sleazeballs. (He writes screenplays as well as fiction.) And while the matter of his stories is often shocking, his manner is calm, restrained. The prose is attitude-free and precise, its characteristic sound a minor chord of sorrow and banked anger. He writes about sensation unsensationally, with a particular tenderness toward those who manage, against the odds and by whatever means, to feel something. Maybe the best story in this superb collection is a rapt little piece called "Skeeter Junkie," in which a young heroin addict first begins to enjoy the feeling of the mosquito feeding on his arm, then starts to identify with it and then, as the drugs ooze through his veins, somehow becomes it and finally uses the "exquisite" flying bloodsucker to transport him to the apartment of his comely but standoffish downstairs neighbor. It's a horror story, I guess, but it's also funny, weirdly erotic and, in a way that horror almost never is, tragic. In the title of Shirley's collection, there's a faint, happy echo of the passage from "Biographia Literaria" in which Coleridge coined his famous phrase. Speaking of his contributions to the seminal 1798 volume "Lyrical Ballads," which included "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner," the poet wrote: "My endeavours should be directed to persons and characters supernatural, or at least romantic; yet so as to transfer from our inward nature a human interest and a semblance of truth sufficient to procure for these shadows of imagination that willing suspension of disbelief for the moment, which constitutes poetic faith." That's exactly what good horror writers like Joe Hill and John Shirley do with the shadows of their imagination. And there's an explanation here, too, of the hope that can keep even the most skeptical, fed-up reader coming back to horror fiction. Watching vampires having sex may not strike you as an adequate reward for suspending disbelief. But the poetry of fear and mortality is worth all the belief you can muster.

Copyright (c) The New York Times Company [October 27, 2009]
Review by Booklist Review

Jakabok Botch, aka Mister B., constantly interrupts the telling of his life story to suggest, advise, cajole, plead, beg, bargain with, threaten, and otherwise convince you presumably the reader to burn the book, now! Jakabok is a demon, born, bred, and disfiguringly burned in the Ninth Circle of Hell; skilled in inflicting all manner of pain, he's as persuasive as any Hell-spawn could be. And yet you keep turning pages, at the end finding out some things about the power of the printed word, the struggle between good and evil, and humanity's importance in the cosmic scheme that, even if you had known about them before, you perhaps hadn't considered. Before that payoff, you keep turning pages because Jakabok's interruptions are annoying, and you just want him to get on with it. Although his misadventures in medieval-becoming-Renaissance Europe after being run out of Hell by his father (and getting back at the old devil: bet you didn't know demons could die) become routine, and his self-revelations become icky, fate seems bound and determined to have Jakabok cross paths with Johannes Gutenberg. And so a rather humdrum horror comedy turns into an intellectual freedom parable, tinctured with metaphysics.--Olson, Ray Copyright 2007 Booklist

From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

With a bone-chilling opening consisting of a gloomy score and a very angry Doug Bradley (Hellraiser's Pinhead himself), Barker's latest horror effort is brilliantly realized in this masterful reading. Bradley is inherently creepy as the narrator, one Jakabok Botch, or Mister B., detailing his demonic life in this journal, which he implores you not to read right from the start. His rich Liverpool accent adds to the insidiousness of Jakabok, who implores the reader to release him from the confines of the diary as it seems he is actually stuck in the very ink that fills the pages. Bradley's performance is so powerful and compelling, it's nearly impossible not to listen all the way through the first time around. Bradley speaks directly to the listener, creating a very uncomfortable atmosphere ripe for plenty of good scares. Bradley's tone and demeanor creates constant tension throughout, with random bursts of anger and rage sure to make hearts skip a beat in a thrillingly fun experience. Simultaneous release with the Harper hardcover (Reviews, Sept. 24). (Nov.) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved

(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved
Review by School Library Journal Review

Adult/High School-Inside this beautifully designed book lies the incredibly gruesome memoir of a 14th-century demon. As the story begins, Jakobok's father has an abusive temper and his mother doesn't listen. But that's the least of his problems as he is soon fished from Hell by some demon-hunting priests from the above world. Despite their best efforts, he manages to escape again and again, hooking up with a partner in crime and leaving death, blood, and limbs in his wake. As the book nears its end, Johannes Gutenberg makes an appearance and the story goes off the rails a bit. Barker's demon narrator addresses readers frequently, and though it would be tough to call him sympathetic, teens will relate to him. There are grand pronouncements about the nature of evil, and the evil of even the supposed moral arbiters, as well as the use of the printing press to disseminate both good and evil. Teens who devour the "Saw" movies will probably appreciate this well-written, if slightly messy, horror novel.-Jamie Watson, Harford County Public Library, MD (c) Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

(c) Copyright Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
Review by Kirkus Book Review

Any narrative that begins "Burn this book" definitely merits attention--unfortunately, readers would be much better off were they to heed this advice. The novel starts in Hell, so there's literally nowhere to go but up. The demon Jakabok Botch, also the narrator, introduces us to his sadistic and dysfunctional family. Botch wants to ingratiate himself with his mother by inventing "the first mechanical disemboweler." Shortly thereafter he is horribly disfigured in (go figure) a fire and winds up with no nose and no lips. Soon Botch and his father, Pappy Gatmuss, succumb to the temptation of steak and beer, but this turns out to be bait from the Upper (i.e. our) World. Although they're both hauled up in a net through the nine circles of Hell, only Botch makes it up alive. To disguise his demonhood, he wears clothes that cover his devilish aberration, two tails. In the Upper World he links up with Quitoon, an elder demon who's even more adept at evil than Botch. For 38 years they travel around the countryside, doing (as we would expect) repulsive things like burning people (Quitoon's specialty) and taking baths in the blood of infants. Eventually they meet Johannes Gutenberg, of printing-press fame, and his wife Hannah, who turns out to be an angel and hence an arch-enemy of Botch and his homoerotic friend. An overfed and puffed-up archbishop is also revealed to be on the side of the devil. During an apocalyptic battle between Hannah and the archbishop, Botch inadvertently puts his finger (claw?) on the problem: "Everyone continued to watch them as they carved up Humankind's future...the whole thing, for all its Great Significance and so on and so forth, was actually beginning to bore me." Exactly. An affected and pathetic narrative--nothing would be lost by confining it to the ninth circle of Hell. Copyright ©Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Mister B. Gone Chapter One Burn this book. Go on. Quickly, while there's still time. Burn it. Don't look at another word. Did you hear me? Not. One. More. Word. Why are you waiting? It's not that difficult. Just stop reading and burn the book. It's for your own good, believe me. No, I can't explain why. We don't have time for explanations. Every syllable that you let your eyes wander over gets you into more and more trouble. And when I say trouble, I mean things so terrifying your sanity won't hold once you see them, feel them. You'll go mad. Become a living blank, all that you ever were wiped away, because you wouldn't do one simple thing. Burn this book. It doesn't matter if you spent your last dollar buying it. No, and it doesn't matter if it was a gift from somebody you love. Believe me, friend, you should set fire to this book right now, or you'll regret the consequences. Go on. What are you waiting for? You don't have a light? Ask somebody. Beg them. It's a matter of light and death Believe me! Will you please believe me? A little runt of a book like this isn't worth risking madness and eternal damnation over. Well, is it? No, of course not. So burn it. Now! Don't let your eyes travel any further. Just stop here. Oh God! You're still reading? What is it? You think this is some silly little joke I'm playing? Trust me, it isn't. I know, I know, you're thinking it's just a book filled with words, like any other book. And what are words? Black marks on white paper. How much harm could there be in something so simple? If I had ten hundred years to answer that question I would barely scratch the surface of the monstrous deeds the words in this book could be used to instigate and inflame. But we don't have ten hundred years. We don't even have ten hours, ten minutes. You're just going to have to trust me. Here, I'll make it as simple as possible for you: This book will do you harm beyond description unless you do as I'm asking you to. You can do it. Just stop reading... Now. What's the problem? Why are you still reading? Is it because you don't know who I am, or what? I suppose I can hardly blame you. If I had picked up a book and found somebody inside it, talking at me the way I'm talking at you, I'd probably be a little wary too. What can I say that'll make you believe me? I've never been one of those golden-tongued types. You know, the ones who always have the perfect words for every situation. I used to listen to them when I was just a little demon and-- Hell and Demonation! I let that slip without meaning to. About me being a demon, I mean. Oh well, it's done. You were bound to figure it out for yourself sooner or later. Yeah, I'm a demon. My full name is Jakabok Botch. I used to know what that meant, but I've forgotten. I used to. I've been a prisoner of these pages, trapped in the words you're reading right now and left in darkness most of the time, while the book sat somewhere through the passage of many centuries in a pile of books nobody ever opened. All the while I'd think about how happy, how grateful , I'd be when somebody finally opened the book. This is my memoir, you see. Or, if you will, my confessional. A portrait of Jakabok Botch. I don't mean portrait literally. There aren't any pictures in these pages. Which is probably a good thing, because I'm not a pretty sight to look at. At least I wasn't the last time I looked. And that was a long, long time ago. When I was young and afraid. Of what, you ask? Of my father, Pappy Gatmuss. He worked at the furnaces in Hell and when he got home from the night shift he would have such a temper me and my sister, Charyat, would hide from him. She was a year and two months younger than me, and for some reason if my father caught her he would beat and beat her and not be satisfied until she was sobbing and snotty and begging him to stop. So I started to watch for him. About the time he'd beheading home, I'd climb up the drainpipe onto the roof out of our house and watch for him. I knew his walk [or his stagger, if he'd been drinking] the moment he turned the corner of our street. That gave me time to climb back down the pipe, find Charyat, and the two of us could find a safe place where we'd go until he'd done what he always did when he, drunk or sober, came home. He'd beat our mother. Sometimes with his bare hands, but as he got older with one of the tools from his workbag, which he always brought home with him. She wouldn't ever scream or cry, which only made him angrier. I asked her once very quietly why she never made any noise when my father hit her. She looked up at me. She was on her knees at the time trying to get the toilet unclogged and the stink was terrible; the little room full of ecstatic flies. She said: "I would never give him the satisfaction of knowing he had hurt me." Thirteen words. That was all she had to say on the subject. But she poured into those words so much hatred and rage that it was a wonder that the walls didn't crack and bring the house down on our heads. But something worse happened. My father heard. How he sniffed out what we were saying I do not know to this day. I suspect he had buzzing tell-tales amongst the flies. I don't remember much of what he did to us, except for his pushing my head into the unclogged toilet--that I do remember. His face is also inscribed on my memory. Mister B. Gone . Copyright © by Clive Barker. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold. Excerpted from Mister B. Gone by Clive Barker, Clive Barker All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.