Review by Choice Review
Freelancers Bronson and Merryman describe the quandary that contemporary parents experience when a mythical wellspring of wisdom does not magically flow. Empathizing with the dilemma confronted by parents who turn to the media for information when instinct is insufficient to help them guide their children, this pair of provocateurs rallies the reader with a collection of ten evocative essays on topics of interest in child development. They expose the detrimental effects of a culture addicted to instant sound bites based on incomplete interpretation of research data: they posit that such superficial treatment of substantive information circumvents a process of thoughtful scrutiny that is imperative to process, and they interpret the complexities and nuances inherent in the empirical literature. The cumulative effect of the book is to engage the reader in a lively discussion on the myths and misconceptions that beg to be deciphered in instilling pro-social values such as gratitude, honesty, and empathy. Though not useful as an academic resource, this clever, entertaining volume will help parents navigate the tangled maze of parenting advice and emerge with a deeper understanding of nurture. Summing Up: Recommended. General readers and professionals only. S. Durr Macon State College
Copyright American Library Association, used with permission.
Review by New York Times Review
AS if we needed yet another indicator of economic collapse, note that the men who once chronicled financial high jinks have turned to baby sling strategy and sibling rivalry. First Michael Lewis, author of "Liar's Poker," hit the best-seller list with a memoir about the perils (and awww, rewards) of being a dad. Now Po Bronson, who made his name novelizing Bay Area bond trading and Silicon Valley upstarts, has come out with a book on child-rearing. But not just any book! "NurtureShock," with its Toffleresque title, promises to revolutionize parenthood with "New Thinking About Children." According to Bronson and his co-writer, Ashley Merryman, who runs a church-based tutoring program for urban youth, "nurture shock" is the panic common to new parents that "the mythical fountain of knowledge is not magically kicking in." It's that gut-pummeling doubt that hits the moment you bring your first child home from the hospital- "They let us keep this thing?" - and snowballs from there. Such feelings of inadequacy, the authors suggest, are justified. But, as they write with deeply felt earnestness, "small corrections in our thinking today could alter the character of society long term, one future-citizen at a time." The key, outlined in 10 deftly organized chapters, is to ignore common assumptions about children in favor of the latest social science, much of it counterintuitive. Think it's best for 10th-grade slackers to high-tail it to school at 7 a.m.? Wrong! Let them sleep in, say the prevailing studies on teenagers and sleep. Believe that reading the Berenstain Bears and other turgid "pro-social" stories will make your kindergartner more genial? They're actually more likely to inspire in her new ways of tormenting her little brother. Based on a pair of Branson's highprofile cover stories for New York magazine, which applied similarly brazen titles ("Learning to Lie," "How Not to Talk to Your Kids") to academic research of the past two decades, the book is perhaps less revolutionary about parenthood than it is revelatory about books on parenthood. That sounds weighty and abstruse, so as Bronson and Merryman might phrase it, let me "unpack" what I mean. Ann Hulbert, author of "Raising America," could easily lend a hand. As Hulbert made clear in her 2003 history of parenting advice, each generation of parents falls sway if not to a singular sanctified Dr. Spock, then to a bevy of conflicting sages. (The current generation is likely to be remembered as that of Drs. Sears and Brazelton on the child-centered side, John Rosemond on the parent-centric side, and Jenny McCarthy and Tori Spelling on the Hollywood-mommy fringe.) Whereas others may call upon medical training, paternal wisdom or been-there-done-that motherhood, Bronson and Merryman, having "parsed through the science and reviewed the evidence," appeal to scientific reason - just as, Hulbert writes, experts more than a century ago first urged the scientific and systematic study of children. What comes around goes around, goes away and then comes back. In a chapter on overpraise, the authors describe laboratory studies in which children, having taken an initial test and then been praised for their intelligence, fared worse in follow-up rounds, while children who were instead commended for their effort challenged themselves further and performed better over all. Frequent and oftundeserved rewards in the form of praise, the authors caution, deprive a child of motivation and discourage persistence. "It's a neurobiological fact," they write, pointing to studies of M.R.I. scans and trained rodents. True, but far from new. Albeit without the sci-techy benefit of brain imaging, in 1964, "Children: The Challenge," a popular manual of the day, warned, "Praise, as a means of encouragement, must be used very cautiously." It can be "dangerous" if a child sees praise as a reward and "could easily lead to discouragement," the author, Rudolf Dreikurs, noted. Still, much of the research here on the upkeep of children is interesting and worthwhile. (And what new parent has the fortitude to sift through academic journals?) Several studies, for example, demonstrate that the more children are threatened with punishment, the more they lie and the better they get at it. In one, kids who attend a traditional colonial school in western Africa, where teachers frequently slap children for misdeeds, were especially likely to lie progressively more in order to avoid the consequences. Another study found that reading "The Boy Who Cried Wolf" increased children's likelihood of lying, while a book on George Washington and the cherry tree decreased it dramatically. And not because kids revere Washington - the students in the study were Canadian. One of the most valuable chapters looks at how white parents deal with race. For those who think it best to describe Caucasians as "pinkish white" and blacks as "brown skinned" (raise your hands, Upper West Siders), recent research delivers a strong rebuke. Pretending race doesn't exist leaves young children to form their own - often racist - opinions. A chapter on early childhood testing delivers similarly distressing and critical news. Bronson and Merryman do parents a service by calling attention to studies that seldom make their way into the media. But to judge from these pages, the authors are a bit too enthralled with their academic sources. Their penchant for describing psychological studies and research projects as if they were chemistry experiments, with phrases like "the test of scientific analysis" and "the science of peer relations," conjure up the image of Thomas Dolby repeatedly exhorting "Science!" Let's face it - even if, as the authors suggest, "preschoolers' E.F. capability can be measured with simple computerized tests," chances are, this year's E.F. ("executive function") will be tomorrow's E.Q. ("emotional intelligence"), which the authors deride as an unreliable predictor of academic achievement or adult success. No doubt we'll worry about that later. For now, Bronson is, above all, a brilliant packager of books about what people care about most: themselves. As he did in "What Should I Do With My Life?," his 2002 best seller, Bronson has adroitly polished a fairly unoriginal subject into highgloss pop psychology. This isn't the big news of the day, but the small, consequential news that affects our daily lives; it's the stuff of breakfast shows and private-school parenting seminars. It's "What Should I Do With My Kids?" And isn't that all about me, anyway? Pamela Paul is the author of "Parenting Inc."
Copyright (c) The New York Times Company [October 27, 2009]
Review by Booklist Review
This intriguing analysis of conventional wisdom regarding child rearing seems intended to provoke thought and debate rather than to offer actual parenting advice, and it excels at this goal. Each chapter tackles, and explodes, a separate concept concerning preschoolers through teenagers: Why Kids Lie, The Science of Teenage Rebellion, and more. Some topics will be useful to parents, such as The Lost Hour, which suggests overprogramming is harmful to kids; others are more relevant on the school or policymaking level, such as The Search for Intelligent Life in Kindergarten, which urges periodically reevaluating children who are tracked into remedial or gifted programs at too early an age. The authors clearly revel in their roles as provocateurs; unfortunately, their tone sometimes seems alarmist and negative ( You'll ruin him, Parents screw this up, etc.) rather than revelatory, which may put off those sincerely looking for guidance. The most successful chapters include positive alternative suggestions rather than just tearing down accepted practice; especially welcome is the exhortation to address race, an incendiary topic, directly and candidly with children. The authors' extensive research and incisive thinking make this a worthwhile read, whether you agree or disagree with their assertions.--Foote, Diane Copyright 2009 Booklist
From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review
The central premise of this book by Bronson (What Should I Do with My Life?) and Merryman, a Washington Post journalist, is that many of modern society's most popular strategies for raising children are in fact backfiring because key points in the science of child development and behavior have been overlooked. Two errant assumptions are responsible for current distorted child-rearing habits, dysfunctional school programs and wrongheaded social policies: first, things work in children the same way they work in adults and, second, positive traits necessarily oppose and ward off negative behavior. These myths, and others, are addressed in 10 provocative chapters that cover such issues as the inverse power of praise (effort counts more than results); why insufficient sleep adversely affects kids' capacity to learn; why white parents don't talk about race; why kids lie; that evaluation methods for "giftedness" and accompanying programs don't work; why siblings really fight (to get closer). Grownups who trust in "old-fashioned" common-sense child-rearing-the definitely un-PC variety, with no negotiation or parent-child equality-will have less patience for this book than those who fear they lack innate parenting instincts. The chatty reportage and plentiful anecdotes belie the thorough research backing up numerous cited case studies, experts' findings and examination of successful progressive programs at work in schools. (Sept.) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved
(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved
Review by Library Journal Review
Why are kids today so fat? Too much TV and Internet surfing, right? Nope. What's better for kids-watching Power Rangers or Clifford the Big Red Dog? (It's not what you think.) Prepare to be slack-jawed as Bronson (What Should I Do With My Life?) and Merryman excavate astonishing research that reveals why our parenting strategies have backfired: why smart kids are underperforming, why Baby Einstein watchers speak fewer words than their peers, and why kindergarteners in the gifted program are no smarter than others. Chapters address sibling relations, self-control, sleep effects, and other relevant topics. The book presents a panoramic view of the latest research and is further distinguished by pragmatic prose that avoids alarmism and sanctimony. Verdict This tour de force is one of the best parenting psychology books in years and will likely be seismic in influence.-Julianne J. Smith, Ypsilanti Dist. Lib., MI (c) Copyright 2010. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
(c) Copyright Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
Review by Kirkus Book Review
A provocative collection of essays popularizing recent research that challenges conventional wisdom about raising children. An award-winning article, "How Not to Talk to Your Kids," which advised parents that telling children they are smart is counterproductive, prompted journalists Bronson (Why Do I Love These People?: Honest and Amazing Stories of Real Families, 2005, etc.) and Merryman to dig further into the science of child development. Here they ably explore a range of subjects of interest to parents: adolescents' sleep needs and the effects of sleep deprivation, children's attitudes toward skin color and race, why children lie, the dangers of using a single intelligence test at an early age to determine giftedness, how interactions with other children affect relationships with siblings, the positive effects of marital conflict, how self-control can be taught, the effects of different types of TV programs on children's behavior and the development of language in young children. Their findings are often surprising. For example, in schools with greater racial diversity, the odds that a child will have a friend of a different race decrease; listening to "baby DVDs" does not increase an infant's rate of word acquisition; children with inconsistent and permissive fathers are nearly as aggressive in school as children of distant and disengaged fathers. Bronson and Merryman call attention to what they see as two basic errors in thinking about children. The first is the fallacy of similar effectthe assumption that what is true for adults is also true for children. The secondthe fallacy of the good/bad dichotomyis the assumption that a trait or factor is either good or bad, when in fact it may be both (e.g., skill at lying may be a sign of intelligence, and empathy may become a tool of aggression.) The authors also provide helpful notes for each chapter and an extensive bibliography. A skilled, accessible presentation of scientific research in layman's language. Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
