What you really really want The smart girl's shame-free guide to sex and safety

Friedman's mantra is "You can't get what you want 'till you know what you want." Designed for young women who want to say "yes" at least sometimes, this guide speaks to those unsure about their sexual future or regretful about their sexual past. In coaxing readers to figure out answers for themselves, Friedman (coauthor, Yes Means Yes!: Visions of Female Sexual Power and a World Without Rape) covers a lot of ground: family and societal influence on attitudes, personal values, intuition, discrimination and "prudes vs. sluts" stereotyping, physical safety and safer sex, conversations about sex with partners and others, managing emotions, paybacks, and making amends. Most valuable are the exercises, largely relating to journaling, such as imagining and writing out different endings for past experiences and listing possible risks and outcomes for various choices. Resources (many web based) are listed throughout. VERDICT While basically permissive, this valuable guide can also help readers with differing views to organize a personal groundwork according their own perspective. Recommended for women and older teens who seek self-insight.-Martha Cornog, Philadelphia (c) Copyright 2011. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.