The opposite of spoiled Raising kids who are grounded, generous, and smart about money

Ron Lieber

Book - 2015

"Lieber covers all the basics: the best ways to handle the tooth fairy, allowance, chores, charity, savings, birthdays, holidays, cell phones, splurging, clothing, cars, part-time jobs, and college tuition. But he also identifies a set of traits and virtues--like modesty, patience, generosity, and perspective--that parents hope their young adults will carry with them out into the world"--

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Subjects
Published
New York, NY : Harper, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers [2015]
Language
English
Main Author
Ron Lieber (author)
Edition
First edition
Physical Description
xii, 240 pages ; 24 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references (pages 223-229) and index.
ISBN
9780062247018
  • Author's Note
  • 1. Why We Need to Talk About Money
  • The responsibilities we never faced at their age and the power of real conversations
  • 2. How to Start the Money Conversations
  • Curiosity, lies, and the single best reply to every hard question about money (and sex and drugs)
  • 3. The Allowance Debates
  • Three jars, unpaid chores, and a whole lot of patience
  • 4. The Smartest Ways for Kids to Spend
  • The hours-of-fun-per-dollar test, Grandma Dana's shopping ritual, and the importance of record-store pit stops
  • 5. Are We Raising Materialistic Kids?
  • The tooth fairy, the travel-team dilemma, and the making of a more modest school
  • 6. How to Talk About Giving
  • Narrating your way through gifts of $1, $1,000, and $1 million
  • 7. Why Kids Should Work
  • Lessons from farm work, mandatory tuition payments, and a unified theory of tin can redemption
  • 8. The Luckiest
  • Instilling gratitude, grace, and perspective in our sons and daughters
  • 9. How Much Is Enough?
  • All about trade-offs
  • Acknowledgments
  • Notes
  • Bibliography
  • Index
Review by New York Times Review

BELIEVER: My Forty Years in Politics, by David Axelrod. (Penguin, $18.) Axelrod, apolitical strategist and longtime senior adviser to President Obama (he proposed the "Yes We Can" motto that rallied scores of supporters), recounts in this memoir his lifelong enthusiasm for politics and appreciation for "the combat, camaraderie and satisfaction of . . . spending myself in a worthy cause." THE WHITES, by Richard Price. (Picador/Holt, $16.) Sgt. Billy Graves is the head of the Night Watch team in Manhattan when a crime in Penn Station is linked to the case that nearly ruined his career years earlier. Price, a master of the crime genre, has written "a work of reportage as much as . . . a work of fiction," Michael Connelly said here, that "provides insight and knowledge, both rare qualities in the killing fields of the crime novel." OVERBOOKED: The Exploding Business of Travel and Tourism, by Elizabeth Becker. (Simon & Schuster, $17.) From the 1950s onward, political détente and the decreasing cost of overseas travel have made far-flung destinations accessible for growing numbers of people. Becker delves into how this multibillion-dollar industry has transformed global economies and landscapes alike. THE UNFORTUNATE IMPORTANCE OF BEAUTY, by Amanda Filipacchi. (Norton, $15.95.) Two women at the heart of Filipacchi's novel refashion themselves to overcome romantic handicaps caused by appearance. Barb, whose gorgeousness may have driven one of her friends to commit suicide, wears a homemade fat suit to ward off superficial admirers focused on her looks. Lily, devastatingly plain, fears she will be overlooked by men and composes a song that makes her irresistible to all who hear it. WATER TO THE ANGELS: William Mulholland, His Monumental Aqueduct, and the Rise of Los Angeles, by Les Standiford. (Ecco/Harper-Collins, $16.99.) Sensing the profound risk of a water shortage in the region, Mulholland set out in 1907 to bring water from the Sierra Nevada to Los Angeles, a civil engineering project that allowed the city to grow into a sprawling metropolis. (When Mulholland arrived there in the 1870s, Los Angeles was a small town of roughly 9,000 people.) IN THE COUNTRY: Stories, by Mia Alvar. (Vintage, $16.95.) Alvar's debut collection ranges across the Filipino diaspora, with stops in the Persian Gulf and "Manilachusetts" in the United States. The title story, a tragic novella-length narrative, unfolds amid the political turmoil of 1970s Manila, when Milagros, a Filipino nurse, organizes a workers' strike to protest unfair pay. THE OPPOSITE OF SPOILED: Raising Kids Who Are Grounded, Generous, and Smart About Money, by Ron Lieber. (Harper, $15.99.) The "Your Money" columnist for the Business Day section of The Times offers pragmatic advice for including children in household discussions about money, budgets and privilege. Frank conversations about finances don't have to be thorny.

Copyright (c) The New York Times Company [February 28, 2016]
Review by Booklist Review

Next to discussions about sex and drugs, talk about money is probably the hardest for parents to have with their children. Lieber, Your Money columnist with the New York Times, answers sticky questions about matters ranging from allowances to student loan debt to deeper concerns about how to know when one's children are too obsessed with money and material things. Delving into behavioral economics, Lieber advises parents to take into account the emotional aspects of money, including the role of social media in churning desires to spend. He also tackles worries about downward mobility and how to prepare children for future prospects that may not be as secure as their parents'. Through stories of families from varied geographical locales and economic classes, Lieber focuses on values and virtues to encourage in children to ensure they will not be spoiled, including generosity, patience, and perseverance. Using those virtues, Lieber guides parents in conveying the value and significance of money and how to use it wisely, how to spend and save, how to give and invest. Parents will appreciate the sound advice and broad perspective Lieber offers on this important subject.--Bush, Vanessa Copyright 2015 Booklist

From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

Despite a smattering of practical advice, there's more of the philosophical than the methodological to this primer from New York Times columnist Lieber (coauthor of Taking Time Off) on helping children, especially those in the upper middle class, to approach financial matters with responsibility, generosity, and gratitude. Lieber makes a strong argument that money is something that children notice and talk about. He believes modern American parents' reticence on the subject bypasses the opportunity to instill both good values and important skills. Lieber advises giving honest responses to children's questions about family finances and encouraging even affluent kids to take after-school jobs. More specific and fun suggestions include divvying up allowances between Give/Save/Spend jars, establishing the "fun per dollar" test, and making the Tooth Fairy's arrival less of a cash grab. Assorted motivational stories touch on both the mundane (collecting bottles for deposit) and the dramatic (parents who downsized their home, at their young daughter's urging, to free up $800,000 for charity). Lieber's easygoing style will encourage parents to raise a new generation that's both confident and compassionate. Agent: Christy Fletcher, Fletcher & Company. (Feb.) (c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved
Review by Kirkus Book Review

Talking big bucks with the smallest members of your household will make the world a better place argues New York Times personal finance columnist Lieber (co-author: Taking Time Off, 2003, etc.).Do you know the going rate for a visit from the tooth fairy in your neighborhood? If you have children, you're probably all too aware of the playground rumors that range from $5 up to $50 for the prized first tooth. So what do you put under your child's pillow? Does it matter? Yes, these seemingly small family financial decisions matter a lot, according to Lieber. In his third book, the author addresses affluence, its effect on child-rearing and the lessons most of us are not teaching our children about managing wealth. As practical as the first half of the book isit's packed with suggestions on everything from allowance to college tuitionLieber's advice skews toward the upper-class family, leaving out the many families who make less than the $75,000 annual income he acknowledges as his base line. For instance, when he counsels that an appropriate clothing budget be calibrated on Land's End prices, he largely ignores the fact that many families are struggling to afford even a wardrobe from Wal-Mart or Target. Later chapters get into tougher territory, and Lieber makes a good case for using early money management training to help children eventually tackle society's bigger problems, such as homelessness and hunger. Humble stories of kids raising money for Down syndrome research or creating kit bags to give to people living on the street offer inspiration for those who do have money to spend it wisely in the world and to teach their children to do the same. Sound advice on managing family finances but only if you have sufficient finances to manage. Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.