9780345549839|excerpt Mann / PEOPLE I WANT TO PUNCH IN THE THROAT PEOPLE I WANT TO PUNCH IN THE THROAT: A SHORT LIST My parents. Seriously, who spells their kid's name "Jenni" with an adorable i? I guess they never expected me to be a doctor. Anyone who thinks I really named my kids Gomer and Adolpha. Their real names are actually worse. That one guy who sits in the middle of Starbucks yelling into his stupid Bluetooth about a bullshit quarterly report. We all hope you choke on your latte. Extreme couponers who hold up the checkout line over thirty frickin' cents. I'm mostly pissed off because I always forget my coupons at home. People who treat their pets like children. No further explanation needed. Anyone who feels the need to bling her washer and dryer. I blame Pinterest for this shit. The guy in front of me at McDonald's the other day who asked, "What's good here?" Even the guy behind the counter didn't know how to answer. Humble braggers. If you have something to brag about, then just own it. Anyone who names their kid after a Kardashian or a Twilight character. Trust me, no one believes that you just "thought up" the name North on your own. Moms who tell me my life would be so much easier if I implemented "systems." Oh, fuck you. People who tell me not to swear so much. Oh, fuck you, too. People who think this book might be about them. Don't be so vain. You're not the only asshat I know. Excerpted from People I Want to Punch in the Throat: Competitive Crafters, Drop-Off Despots, and Other Suburban Scourges by Jen Mann All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.
