Blackout Remembering the things I drank to forget

Sarah Hepola

Book - 2015

A memoir of unblinking honesty and poignant, laugh-out-loud humor, BLACKOUT is the story of a woman stumbling into a new kind of adventure--the sober life she never wanted. Shining a light into her blackouts, she discovers the person she buried, as well as the confidence, intimacy, and creativity she once believed came only from a bottle. Her tale will resonate with anyone who has been forced to reinvent or struggled in the face of necessary change. It's about giving up the thing you cherish most--but getting yourself back in return.

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Subjects
Published
New York : Grand Central Publishing 2015.
Language
English
Main Author
Sarah Hepola (author)
Edition
First edition
Physical Description
230 pages ; 22 cm
ISBN
9781455554591
Contents unavailable.
Review by New York Times Review

EYE OF THE BEHOLDER: Johannes Vermeer, Antoni van Leeuwenhoek, and the Reinvention of Seeing, by Laura J. Snyder. (Norton, $17.95.) As lenses became more refined in the 17th century, a fabric-merchant-turned-naturalist and a painter in Holland used the developments to advance their own pursuits. Van Leeuwenhoek, using the small microscopes that he built, discovered a world of microbes in droplets of water; Vermeer, using a camera obscura, toyed with light and illumination and how people perceive them. A CURE FOR SUICIDE, by Jesse Ball. (Vintage, $16.) An unnamed man, who came close to death, is convalescing in a village where a woman, called the "examiner," teaches him the basics of how to live: what sleep is, how to dress, why people have names. Ball's fifth novel elegantly examines the process of rebuilding a life from nothing, and how pain shapes a person's identity. BLACKOUT: Remembering the Things I Drank to Forget, by Sarah Hepola. (Grand Central, $ 15.99.) At 7 years of age, Hepola first began sneaking sips of beer and developed a taste for alcohol that stretched into a decades-long addiction. She acknowledges the inherent paradox of her project - how can she write about the hours that she cannot recall? - but captures the vagaries of alcoholism with honesty and humor. GOLDEN AGE, by Jane Smiley. (Anchor, $16.) The final volume of Smiley's trilogy following the Langdon family opens in 1987 and runs through 2019. The Langdons have dispersed throughout the country and face a host of political, economic and environmental challenges. Though the story's cast has swelled, Smiley expertly links each person's story to the past. "You can feel the weight of what came before," Louisa Thomas wrote here. A BUZZ IN THE MEADOW: The Natural History of a French Farm, by Dave Goulson. (Picador, $16.) When Goulson, a biologist and conservationist, purchased a run-down farmstead in rural France, he sought to preserve the property's diverse ecosystem. Here, he tells the story of the creatures that live there - offering insights into such subjects as the "complex politics of life as a paper wasp," among others. His book functions as a joyful call to arms for conservation efforts. THE LIFE AND DEATH OF SOPHIE STARK, by Anna North. (Blue Rider, $16.) Sophie, the title character of North's novel, is a filmmaker whose work draws praise for its emotional precision. Her story, told by people who once knew her, "illustrates just how far an artist will go in pursuit of authentic expression," our reviewer, Sarah Fetguson, wrote. ONE NATION UNDER GOD: How Corporate America Invented Christian America, by Kevin M. Kruse. (Basic Books, $17.50.) Kruse, a Princeton historian, reveals how the four words of the title became enshrined as political gospel in the 1950s. Starting with Dwight D. Eisenhower, religious businessmen and lawmakers worked to integrate religion more closely into government functions.

Copyright (c) The New York Times Company [July 10, 2016]
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

Salon editor Hepola delivers an engaging performance of her memoir chronicling a long struggle toward sobriety, from the angst of her teens through her hipster young adulthood and into the false starts and desperate cries for help of her 30s. Hepola's material-as she confesses-could easily give way to coming-of-age addiction clichés, but the gritty no-nonsense tone of her delivery conveys a complete rejection of self-pity or victimhood. The audio edition includes a shockingly raw tape recording of Hepola at age 13 discussing a sexual experience with an 18-year-old. Hepola uses her natural poise to effectively re-create the smug stance of self-denial from her youth, as she displayed recurring anxiety about drinking but somehow managed to deflect tough questions. Such monologues provide valuable, nuanced insights about the nature of addiction, challenging assumptions about substance abusers being inherently weak and fragile. A Grand Central hardcover. (July) © Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

(c) Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved
Review by Library Journal Review

Hepola delivers a candid, witty, and moving memoir of her alcoholism, specifically binge drinking. A Dallas-based journalist and editor at Salon.com, Hepola was everyone's favorite lit-party girl (or at least that's what she thinks she remembers). Being the girl who can drink with the boys or stay until last call is a thrill, but it comes with consequences, which Hepola shares in a frank and almost poetic way. The blackouts the author experiences leave her with endless questions-Where is my purse? How did I get here?-and mysteries to solve. With her alcoholism keeping her forever in arrested emotional development, it wasn't until she became sober that she truly came of age. Hepola narrates her journey of semi-forgotten self-destruction and redemption in a thoughtful and contemplative voice that makes this work stand above the myriad addiction memoirs. VERDICT Her eloquent writing, peppered with pop culture references and relatable stories on growing up, will find many fans, particularly among Gen-X women and anyone looking for an honest and compelling account of coming to terms with a drinking problem.-Cathleen Keyser, NoveList, Durham, NC © Copyright 2015. Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.

(c) Copyright Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
Review by Kirkus Book Review

A razor-sharp memoir that reveals the woman behind the wine glass. Addiction's death grip and the addict's struggle to escape it is an old story, but in Salon personal essays editor Hepola's hands, it's modern, raw, and painfully realand even hilarious. As much as readers will cry over the author's boozy misadventuresbruising falls down marble staircases, grim encounters with strangers in hotel rooms, entire evenings' escapades missing from memorythey will laugh as Hepola laughs at herself, at the wrongheaded logic of the active alcoholic who rationalizes it all as an excuse for one more drink. This is a drinking memoir, yes, and fans of Caroline Knapp's Drinking: A Love Story (1996) will recognize similar themes, but Hepola moves beyond the analysis of her addiction, making this the story of every woman's fight to be seen for who she really is. Generation X women, in particular, will recognize an adolescence spent puzzling over the rash of parental divorces and counting calories as a way to stay in control of a changing world. Hepola strews pop-culture guideposts throughout, so any woman who remembers both Tiger Beat magazine and the beginning of the war on drugs will find herself right at home. It was an age when girls understood that they weren't destined to be housewives but were not so clear on the alternatives, and it's no wonder the pressure led many to seek the distance that drinking promised. Promises, of course, can lead to all sorts of trouble, and Hepola tells the naked truth of just how much trouble she got into and how difficult it was to pull herself out. Her honesty, and her ultimate success, will inspire anyone who knows a change is needed but thinks it may be impossible. A treasure trove of hard truths mined from a life soaked in booze. Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.