Self-reg How to help your child (and you) break the stress cycle and successfully engage with life

Though this book takes children's needs as its focus, it is really focused on providing guidance-and even a degree of consolation-to adults as they navigate the often tricky parent-child relationship. What child psychologist Shanker refers to as "self-reg" can easily be summarized as mindfulness and as the practice of reframing stressful situations. Yet heightened awareness, simple in theory, is especially difficult to practice in a world that promotes mindlessness to an epidemic extent. These are elusive concepts to grasp, but Shanker gives readers clear explanations of even the more complex neurological information, such as the role of the limbic system, as well as ample diagrams. And the discussion does not stop at the early childhood stage, moving ultimately into adolescence. This book might be less appropriate for more extreme situations-as some of Shanker's many case studies indicate, significant stress can warrant professional intervention. But if the stressed populations most in need of this book's lessons can find the time to read it, they will appreciate its potential to bring the minds of both parent and child to a state of heightened attentiveness with minimal anxiety. Agent: Jill Kneerim, Kneerim & Williams. (June) © Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

Helping your child destress.At some point in every child's life, he or she manifests symptoms of what parents often mistakenly identify as misbehavior: the temper tantrum in the store, the refusal to go to bed at the appointed hour, the inability to sit still and concentrate in school. Shanker (Psychology and Philosophy/York Univ.) helps parents realize that many times this "misbehavior" is simply a reaction to excessive stress. Demonstrating how to "[reframe] the perception of a child's behavior," the author shows that "once you can distinguish between misbehavior and stress behavior, you find yourself better able to pause and reflect when he does something you find disturbing, rather than reacting automatically." By identifying the causes of stress or overstimulationtoo much noise, light, cold, or heat, etc.parents can then work toward reducing these issues. "Self-reg" is a five-step process: one must study the signs of distress, identify the stressors, reduce them, become aware of when these moments occur, and finally figure out what is calming and restful so the child can recover. Often, writes Shanker, it is as simple as turning off the lights and TV and gently rubbing the child's back in a safe spot such as his or her bed. The author bolsters his theories with case studies of real patients whose numerous behavioral issues have been resolved using his five-step method. He also provides plenty of scientific analysis of the way the human brain works and how humans respond to different stimuli. His information is straightforward and will be useful for any age level, from infant to adolescent to adult. When carried out as methodically as Shanker describes, his process should help many parents with children who are simply reacting to our overstimulated world. Comprehensive data backs up a much-tested system that assists parents in getting their children to a calmer state of mind. Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.