Introduction This is a book about the crazy life we live in which time is always scarce. We're all struggling to find time in our lives, but somehow there's less of it to go around each year. We're too tired to think, too wired to focus, and less efficient than we want to be. We feel guilty about not getting enough time with our loved ones. Our perception of the scarcity of time is coupled with the epidemic of stress in the modern world: Stress makes us feel like the walls are closing in on us, which certainly doesn't help us feel better about time. We live in a culture that has lost the script and is absolutely frantic about the loss of time. This concern about time is warranted. Time is the currency of life. We have a certain amount of heartbeats with which to savor life and really taste it. Our time with our families, loved ones, pets, and hobbies is precious, and we cherish it. We also trade our time for money. This money buys us shelter, food, vacations, and college for our kids. We can also squander our money, and it's as though we never had that time at all. We develop health issues when we're less conscious of time. We then wish we had some time back to make things right. Time is all we have, and it's our most valuable gift in life. When we run out, well, the game is over. We can look back, but we can't get it back. When we don't have a positive connection with the flow of time, we lack purpose. We wander around, aimlessly squandering the time we have, only to regret it later. We get so lost in time that we can't even stop to look at the future and think through the impact of decisions today. We see this not only on a personal level but also on a societal one: Our biggest political and environmental issues all stem from our personal relationship with time, which is in distress. We can't slow down. We can't stop consuming and polluting. We all know that we feel starved for time, but what are we actually doing about it? Precious little. This book is designed to change that and bring us back to a healthier connection with time. By adjusting our relationship with time and finding our center, we can take ownership of our commitments and reprioritize where our valuable time is spent and with whom. In a world where everything is available to us in an endless stream of information and opportunity, the onus is on us to control the gates and take ownership of our time. Our energy, our money, and our time are linked in ways we often don't think about. This book teaches us how in a simple, easy-to-follow, and proven methodology. I've helped thousands of people find more time and peace by becoming Urban Monks. My goal is to guide you toward what I call time prosperity, which means having the time to accomplish what you desire in life without feeling compressed, stressed, overburdened, or hurried. Time prosperity brings us peace, better decisions, better health, more family time, and a realignment of our priorities in a way that helps us bring fulfillment and purpose back. If you can control your relationship with time and achieve time prosperity, you'll bring down your stress, have more energy, gain more fulfillment, and actually get more done. So how do we achieve time prosperity? We learn to stop time. In this book, I will walk you through ancient spiritual practices and practical life skills that help us stop time by tapping into our innate wisdom, taking control of our calendars, and developing solid boundaries around time commitment. Think of this as the practice of mindful time management. At the heart of this book, I walk you through a practice called a 100-Day Gong. Based on an ancient Chinese practice, a gong is a designated amount of time that you allot to perform a specific task every day. You pick a particular practice (or set of practices) and designate them as your gong and diligently practice them every day, without fail, for the time period. This not only builds resolve but also forces us to wake up and pay attention to our day-to-day routines. We know that our everyday microhabits lead to the lives we have now. Making small, simple yet significant changes along a longer period of time is the way forward. Change a little here and there and eventually life takes off in wonderful ways. A gong is a powerful way of not only building focus and determination but also ensuring that you train regularly. A gong is a dedicated act of self-love that snaps you out of your daily trance and brings the light of awareness to your consciousness. The more we practice, the more we wake up and the better off we are. Because it takes at least 90 days for a particular good habit to burn into your nervous system, I have found the 100-Day Gong to be the most appropriate length to practice. You can think of it as a 100-day ritual that helps instill new habits. We all need rituals to snap us out of the trance of modern living and into a deeper personal interface where true change can happen. Instead of asking an already busy person who's on the verge of breaking to add one more thing to her chaotic life, we're going to take something you're doing already and provide a swap that will help you liberate more time and energy each day. We're going to check in, relax a bit, and slightly alter a current habit by offering up a better way. We do this each day and slowly build better routines. Some practices will stick, and others will not. That's fine. The key is to slowly and gently unlock more time and therefore more energy and enthusiasm in your life through the practice. You'll keep some of the efficiencies or maybe come back to some later in life, but taking a 100-day walk through your life will fundamentally transform your relationship with time, energy, money, people, and life itself. With short chapters, each day offers a quick lesson and action plan. That's it. Some of the lessons focus on specific activities that you probably wish you had time to do. Some focus on general ways to find more time for however you want to use it. Some may be easy for you, and others may rattle your core. Over 100 days, life will be different. You will be different, and your relationship with time (and therefore life) will be fundamentally transformed for the better. The ideal way to use this book is to run through it from start to finish over the next 100 days (yes, that means start now!) and simply do each day's practice. As you roll forward, you'll find that certain things have come along on the ride with you. You may have huge realizations one day and fundamentally change the way you do a certain thing. Other days, you may go through a practice and not connect with it deeply. That's cool. Roll forward day by day and see what habits you pick up along the way. Write your notes all over this book. Journal in it and circle things. This work is your process. It's your innate wisdom that's being tapped as we go. Document it. Once you've finished your first 100 days, I recommend using this book randomly each day. Let's call it gong roulette. Carry the book around with you and randomly open to any chapter and make that your day's gong. You'll have seen that practice at least once in your first pass, and now you'll have a chance to revisit it. You're never going to be the same person when you come back to a chapter, so you'll learn much about your journey as a human on this planet as you go. Now go live your life and practice it. Let's get to work. We've got 100 days together, starting today! Day 1 Assembling Your Life Garden Today we look at life through the filter of a natural metaphor. Imagine your life is a garden. You have limited water and need to leave space for each plant to flourish. Some may be bigger and more important to you than others. Some you may not even like but are obliged to keep there. Think about what's important to you. What would make it into your Life Garden? Family? Career? Health? Relationships? Music? What's important in your life? List these items and then imagine how much energy needs to go into the sustained growth of each. Think of your energy as the water you need to nourish and grow each plant. It comes in the currency of time, effort, willpower, and attention. If you were to adequately nourish each plant, what would it take? Some may require far more time and energy than others. Make an allowance for that. New cars cost money. If you want one, you'll have to either make more (which means more water in the career area) or take away some funds from your family or elsewhere. Take a cold, hard look at what you say you value and then reconcile that against how much water (time, energy, attention, money, focus) you have to keep that plant happy and healthy. Can you manage to keep certain plants alive while directing the f low of your water to certain others for the time being? Get realistic about how many plants you need to water and cultivate. You have room for five to ten plants and that's it. Guard against any new ones that may be introduced into your garden, and pull up the ones that are sucking valuable resources away from your most important plants. Consider these weeds. It takes focus and dedication, but this is critically important. By saying yes to something new, you're effectively saying no to your existing plants. You'll find yourself watering newcomer weeds and diverting away from the plants you've deemed important in your life. Does this sound familiar? This practice will help you grow more mindful. It's important to set a Life Garden and then use it as a filter to see if new plants can root. Does something fall within the domain of an existing plant? If so, how much water will it pull from the others? Can you afford the shift? Is it a completely new plant? Where will you draw the water from to make room for it? Is that the best use of your resources? Be honest. Qigong means energy work (qi = energy and gong = work). It is the cultivation of one's personal energy through a yogic practice. The actual term "gong" is used to describe our practice here. Over time, with qigong and meditation, you'll have access to more energy, personal power, and clarity. This'll help you draw upon more water for existing plants or newcomers. But for now assume your water (energy, time, and focus) is limited to what it currently is. With that, how do you need to allocate this water to make each plant flourish? Let's get clear on where you want it to go and then assess if that's what's happening. If not, let's make adjustments. Using the Life Garden metaphor can help you be honest about how much time and energy you have to commit to things. This way you don't overcommit, and you also simultaneously avoid the stress and regret that come with not getting things done. When we align our goals with our plans, we plug in our focus and willpower to make it work. Day 2 Time for Gratitude Today we pull over and take some time to be grateful for what we have. Gratitude is good medicine and is always time well spent. It helps relieve stress and build positive energy, and it gives us great perspective on life. When's the last time you did this? Are you hardwired to be grateful, or is it something you have to remind yourself about? Practicing gratitude is healthy. It helps paint a worldview of optimism and hope. People who practice it are consistently happier--we've seen this in multiple studies. What tends to happen with people who are depressed and stuck is a phenomenon called stacking. This is when something bad happens to us and we take that isolated event and attach it to a series of other "bad" isolated events and create a pessimistic narrative. Let's say you stub your toe and drop your phone. People who stack go to a place where "this always happens to me; I have such bad luck; I remember when I tripped in college and was embarrassed" and on and on. A bill could come in and remind you of all of your financial woes, or something as trivial as your favorite team losing could trigger your personal narrative of how you married the wrong person. It doesn't make sense, but it's what we tend to do. It's a downward spiral that drags us into a "my life sucks" narrative that doesn't serve us. It also makes us less fun to be around. Gratitude is a wonderful antidote for this tendency. Today let's practice this. Grab a piece of paper or pick up your phone and simply start making a list of all the things you're grateful for. It could be your kids, your cat, your accomplishments, a tasty lunch you had recently, or the clouds in the sky. Just keep writing. Spend at least 10 minutes going through this exercise and don't stop. Even if it sounds stupid, write it down and keep flowing down your list. It may take a second to recall some of these items. That's fine. The act of recalling them delivers a powerful therapeutic and spiritual value. Once you're finished with your list, stop and ask yourself how you feel. How did you feel before you started, and how do you feel after? Any difference? Take note of it. As you go through your day, keep your list with you. Take a look at it a few more times and do a quick read through. Stop on any item that grabs your attention and let that gratitude fill your heart. Sit with the feeling of gratitude toward whatever the given item is. Bask in its sunshine, and let it fill you. At the end of today go back and recall how you felt in the morning and how you feel on the other side. Any difference? Chances are, it'll be subtle but definitely there. If you like what this is doing, keep your list with you tomorrow and add to it. In fact, see about adding things as they come up for you, and make this list a growing scroll of things you're grateful for. The more you do it, the better it'll serve you. Over time, this practice will radically transform your life and change your mood toward all things. It takes away the friction and allows us to live in a healthier, timeless space. Excerpted from The Art of Stopping Time: Practical Mindfulness for Busy People by Pedram Shojai All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.
