Suicidal Why we kill ourselves

Bering (Perv), a psychologist, carefully balances his natural whimsy and avid curiosity with deep compassion in this look at how suicidal urges work. He is disarmingly frank in disclosing his own identity as "that everyday person dealing with suicidal thoughts," which "flare up like a sore tooth." The book focuses on the idea that humans are "thinking, almost constantly, about what others think," leading to emotions such as shame even among the objectively successful. Bering gets lost in an intellectual ramble through suicide's possible evolutionary purpose, but gets back on course with a discussion with social psychologist Roy Baumeister, who identifies a typical six-stage mental process, starting with feeling of having fallen short of expectations, and culminating with disinhibition. Bering's deep reading of an extraordinary diary written by a teen in the four months before her suicide in the context of Baumeister's framework is disturbing but highly enlightening. He also details with concern modern factors in suicides, such as highly reported celebrity deaths, internet suicide pacts, and glamorized media depictions as in the Netflix show 13 Reasons Why. Throughout, Bering treats his sources with unvarying respect, as well as a spirit of affiliation. Readers who have experienced the anguish of suicidal impulses will find his work both heartening and deeply illuminating. (Nov.) © Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.

A coherent, relevant look at the psychological secrets of suicide."The catchall mental illness explanation only takes us so far," writes science writer Bering (Science Communication/Univ. of Otago, New Zealand; Perv: The Sexual Deviant in All of Us, 2013, etc.) in this fascinating study featuring some startling real-time facts and perspectives on a sadly enduring phenomenon. The author lays bare the possible root causes and outward complications when someone with periodic depression or a fleetingly sporadic compulsion ends their life. For such a fiercely complex subject with varying nuances, viewpoints, and interpretations, Bering imparts accessible information through an affable, conversational tone. Supplementing his research material are chapters detailing the author's own private struggle. Bering, 43, openly admits to being haunted by suicidal feelings. Being outed as gay in his teens and then weathering chronic employment and career burnout as an adult continued to push "those despairing buttons." The author probes ethics and rationales, the mysteries of animal suicides, the opposing viewpoints on "suicidal thinking," and the daunting task of loved ones and forensic investigators to re-create what victims felt prior to committing the act since the "why" often proves just as harrowing as the "how." Bering also shares stories of families ripped apart by suicide as they struggle to reconnect through the haze of devastating emotional pain. Bering concedes that having dark impulses is more commonplace than people would like to believe, and he highlights theories held by neuropsychiatrists and suicidologists who have isolated a specific neuron possibly responsible for suicidal intent. He also analyzes less esoteric, more "common currents" while openly admitting that his own suicidal ideation "flares up like a sore tooth at the whims of bad fortune, subsides for a while, yet always threatens to throb again." This important book arms readers with contemporary insight to help "short-circuit the powerful impetus to die when things look calamitous."Bering illuminates a murky, misunderstood human quandary with compassion, confessional honesty, and academic perception. Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.