How to be alone If you want to, and even if you don't

Lane Moore

Book - 2018

"Lane Moore is a fool for love. From her addiction to romantic comedies to her tendency to form instant soulmate connections with strangers, Lane has a way of romanticizing everything and everyone. But her romantic nature belies a decidedly unromantic childhood, one that sent her down a long and difficult road. Lane considers herself an orphan, though she has two living parents. Her estrangement from her family was a catalyst for her to build a new one with a community of friends, comedians, and oddball roommates in Los Angeles and then New York City. With an intoxicating blend of dark wit and relentless positivity, Lane sheds light on an often-stigmatized condition and reveals how she harnessed and drew strength from her loneliness to... become the creative powerhouse she is today."--Provided by publisher.

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Subjects
Genres
Essays
Autobiographies
Humor
Published
New York : Atria Paperback 2018.
Language
English
Main Author
Lane Moore (author)
Edition
First Atria paperback edition
Physical Description
214 pages ; 22 cm
ISBN
9781501178832
  • Emergency contact left blank
  • Please just be a good person so I can finally be someone who has friends
  • Maybe someone else will love me and that will fix everything
  • Now you get to be an adult, even though you were always an adult. Good luck!
  • I've always relied on the kindness of strangers, but, like, in a sad way
  • I liked dating you better in my head
  • What if this is as good as it will ever get : settling and you!
  • So your family dictates your romantic future? What a fun punishment!
  • Babies babysitting babies
  • Just a few notes for our new babysitter!
  • Am I the last hopeless romantic on Earth?
  • TV couples who made me believe love is supposed to be better than this
  • Happy holidays to everyone but you, you lonely weirdo
  • All this pain must be worth it because you're supposed to be my soul mate
  • How to be alone.
Review by New York Times Review

the odyssey translated by Emily Wilson, read by Claire Danes. (Audible.) Wilson is the first woman to translate Homer's epic of adventure and yearning for home into English. It's a version that has been widely praised for its lyricism and use of contemporary idiom, made even more vibrant here through the voice of Danes, have a nice day by Billy Crystal and Quinton Peeples, read by Crystal, Kevin Kline, Annette Bening, Dick Cavett, Darrell Hammond, Rachel Dratch, et al. (Audible.) This live reading of Crystal and Peeples's new play, performed at New York's Minetta Lane Theater, captures its dark humor, the story of a fictional president of the United States and his encounter with the angel of death, the power of love by Bishop Michael Curry, read by the author. (Penguin Audio.) Best known now for delivering a passionate sermon at the wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, Curry, the presiding bishop and primate of the Episcopal Church, here offers more thoughts on love and social justice, how to be alone by Lane Moore, read by the author. (Simon & Schuster Audio.) Moore is the former sex and relationships editor for Cosmopolitan and in this memoir she tells of her lonely childhood and teenage years, spent largely without any family, and the struggle to find connection with others, thanks a thousand by A. J. Jacobs, read by the author. (Simon & Schuster Audio/TED.) The stunt writer returns, this time with a book about his attempt to personally thank every single person involved in producing his morning cup of coffee. This aim sets him on a journey from miners in Minnesota to farmers in Colombia, musing about the benefits of gratitude along the way. & Noteworthy "To my mind, talent was innate: You either had it, or you didn't; you were brilliant, or you were not. This mindset made writing no less than torturous. Listening to an audiobook version of grit by Angela Duckworth changed that. Duckworth's book is essentially an ode to practice, arguing that far from innate, genius is a result of a combination of passion for your subject and perseverance in your mastery of it. It's a simple but potentially transformative idea. I played Duckworth's narration throughout the day, in the shower through waterproof speakers or dodging pedestrians near Herald Square, and it was a balm for my perfectionism. Afterward, I started seeing the message of 'Grit' everywhere: It's the work you need to fall in love with, not the end result. And as the long, sometimes challenging paths trailing my heroes came into view, I felt safer getting on the road behind them." - CONCEPCIÓN DE LEÓN, DIGITAL STAFF WRITER, BOOKS, ON WHAT SHE'S READING.

Copyright (c) The New York Times Company [August 14, 2019]
Review by Booklist Review

Moore has been named one of the most influential indie comedians of the decade, making a name for herself as a writer for The Onion, as the sex and relationships editor of Cosmopolitan, and as creator and host of Tinder Live!, a stand-up comedy show wherein Moore matches and interacts with other users of the infamous dating app in front of a nightly audience. In this scrappy collection of personal essays, Moore opens up her psyche and personal life for fans to relate to. The title references the underlying theme of every piece, that survival is possible even without any kind of family or support system. Moore is spare with the details of her childhood, emphasizing the weight of her trauma rather than the specifics of it. She explains how to survive the holidays, how to screen a mate, and how to accept love as someone who grew up without it. The essays are whip-smart, pithy, and full of an honest, conversational charm that sets Moore apart.--Courtney Eathorne Copyright 2018 Booklist

From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

In these bitingly honest autobiographical essays, comedian Moore chronicles the aftereffects of being raised by emotionally abusive and indifferent parents. After high school, she left home and moved to New York, hoping to find a soulmate and hide away from anyone who might hurt her. In "So Your Family Dictates Your Romantic Future? What a Fun Punishment!", she explains how her parents displayed pride only after their kids had grown up; in "Maybe Someone Else Will Love Me and That Will Fix Everything," she writes about sexual abuse ("sexual assault is not your 'my first time' story if you don't want it to be" is the book's most heartbreaking and encouraging line) and dysfunctional adult relationships. In the title essay, about trying to find a partner, Moore writes, "Telling yourself not to look for love is like telling yourself not to look for food or air or water or clothes that fit you perfectly." Almost as if trying to bolster herself, Moore points out that being single and alone isn't a life sentence. Within this compassionately told memoir, Moore offers hard-won advice for those looking to get beyond a painful past. (Nov.) © Copyright PWxyz, LLC. All rights reserved.


Review by Kirkus Book Review

One woman's quest for companionship in a culture progressively geared toward isolation.In her first book, about dealing with one's own solitude, Moorethe Onion writer, former sex and relationships editor at Cosmopolitan, and creator of the comedy show Tinder Live!doesn't compile reams of statistics, comparative studies, or clinical evidence. Rather, she takes readers on a playful ride through her life, examining relationships and nonrelationships alike as she both actively engaged in and passively avoided assuaging that aching search for friendship and love. Swinging from the euphoria of newfound friendship to the despairing trenches of love lost, each chapter becomes a foray into universally themed experiences for women of all ages and sexual persuasionse.g., "Please Just Be a Good Person So I Can Finally Be Someone Who Has Friends," which details the adolescent exploits with her friends and the confusion of teen gender roles and intimacy between girls. In "I Liked Dating You Better in My Head," Moore explores a long-term romance with a man that ended up unraveling into a textbook co-dependency in which the couple was in love with future possibilities rather than the empty reality of now. Moore's fast-clip wit, hilarious allegories, and conversational prose knock down the uncomfortably sharp edges of facing aloneness. Comparing her own life to scientist Harry Harlow's monkey love experiments, Moore teases, "I have always identified with the kind-of-dying monkeys who technically had food, but desperately wished they had softness and care too." Later, in a brief manifesto of women's romantic needs, she asks, "why did we stop wanting dinner and a movie and maybe flowers?....When did we start thinking that courtship was too time-consuming and everything romantic comedies waxed on about was just a dumb fairy-tale concept, instead of our expectations for romantic love? I'm tired of pretending I'm cool with whatevs. I'm tired of pretending that laziness can replace thoughtfulness and still be acceptable to me."An irreverent, candidly introspective exploration of toiling with loneliness that will leave readers feeling not so alone. Copyright Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.