Mingling with the enemy A social survival guide for our politically divided era

Jeanne Martinet, 1958-

Book - 2020

"Many people need help navigating conversational minefields such as politics and religion--without getting blown up. Mingling with the Enemy is a vital guide for "surviving" contentious arguments, promoting civil discourse, and finding common ground in any social setting--from cocktail parties to PTA meetings. With this go-to guide, readers will learn how to successfully intermingle, listen, and diffuse heated arguments or disagreements while remaining respectful."--

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2nd Floor 177.2/Martinet Due Dec 1, 2024
Subjects
Published
Oakland, CA : New Harbinger Publications, Inc [2020]
Language
English
Main Author
Jeanne Martinet, 1958- (author)
Item Description
"Tips for navigating any conversation!" -- Cover.
Physical Description
x, 184 pages ; 24 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references (pages 183-184).
ISBN
9781684035212
  • Preface: Fear and loathing at the dinner table
  • Introduction: Socializing in the powder keg era
  • Pre-mingle prep. The dangers of "anti-social" media ; Embracing small talk ; Unset your mind ; Spiritual CliffsNotes: get centered ; Self-checklist: recognize your own triggers ; Bad blood warning: stay clear of open wounds
  • Sate starts and innocuous initial forays. Rule number one---and Two and Three: never assume ; Avoiding the third rail: the ABCs of some common volatile topics ; Safe doesn't have to mean boring
  • Entering the DMZ: taking chances. The rewards of respectful debate ; Conversational recon: how to test for friends, foes, or fanatics ; Telltale warning signs of impending conversational doom ; Don't be a knee jerk: techniques for avoiding overreaction
  • The way of the empath. Listen with all your might (then listen some more) ; Ask real questions ; Visualization: picturing the inner three-year-old ; Love and flattery are your best friends; keep them close ; Yielding without losing: applying Tai Chi principles in conversation
  • Creative survival strategies. Storytelling as a smoothing-over technique ; Conversational camouflaging: how going undercover is sometimes better than wearing your opinion on your sleeve ; The power of silence ; Humor: a mingler's greatest tool
  • Diversionary tactics. Swimming to an island of common ground ; Deflection: six subject-changing techniques; The ejector seat: essential escape maneuvers ; The party pause ; Graceful retreat
  • Helping others: being a social diplomat. Peacekeeping missions ; The fine art of distraction ; Beware of death by triangulation ; Helping a partner ; Lending a hosting hand
  • When mingling online. How to don your virtual armor ; Seven rules to post by ; Counting to ten (hours) ; Dealing with trolls
  • Channeling your inner Buddha: family get-togethers. Pre-visit instructions ; Love means never having to say you're sorry (that you voted for someone else) ; Divide and conquer (or at least contain) ; Baby steps: venturing out of the neutral zone
  • Handling special circumstances. Advice for handling upsetting public altercations ; Tangling with the tangential: doctors, doorman, and dry cleaners ; A word about facing nonpolitical "enemies'; Picking battles: when it is worth a skirmish
  • Epilogue: The "Enemy" dispelled.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

Martinet (The Art of Mingling), a Huffington Post blogger, delivers an enjoyable primer on the art of conversation. Aiming to help readers strike up discussions with those of differing political views, she provides tips for guiding conversations in a neutral manner, as well as tactics to help readers confidently walk into any setting and avoid hostility. For those entering potentially contentious conversational terrain, she suggests using questions or leading statements to help ferret out a person's political leanings, points out warning signs of "conversational doom," and provides strategies for de-escalating triggering conversations. Martinet also includes tips on how to avoid attracting negative reactions when posting on social media, such as considering one's motives, remaining civil, and checking facts. Throughout, she acknowledges there is a time and place for hard conversations and that it takes two calm, open-minded people to have a productive debate. This handy guide couldn't be more timely. (Sept.)

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