Review by Kirkus Book Review
A memoir that doubles as an exploration of the importance of friendships between men. When Boston Globe staff writer Baker received an assignment to write about why middle-aged men often have few close friends, his first reaction was to balk at the idea. After all, he had friends and didn't suffer from loneliness, an affliction that has reached "epidemic" status. However, after further consideration, he realized that his busy family and work life meant that "there was no real 'friend time' left." So began the author's long research project. He reached out to friends from various stages of his life, including high school and college, seeking to figure out why "when people become over-scheduled…they shortchange their friendships." Well-researched and insightful about our human need to interact, the narrative is also smooth and conversational. Readers may cringe at his attempts to bring together school buddies via mass email invitations, and most will laugh out loud at his story about his participation in a New Kids on the Block cruise: "Why was I there? The shortest answer is that I wanted to experience a Girls Trip, which is perhaps the most celebrated act in modern American friendship." Throughout, the author makes clear his desire to forge meaningful platonic connections with other men, and he is candid about the difficulties that many men face when acknowledging that they need one another. "The reality is that there are no successful loners in the history of social evolution," he writes. "Being a solo survivalist is arduous and inefficient. Survival has only been accomplished in groups." Baker's evolution from the start of his project to the end of the book is gratifying, and he also discusses the effects of the pandemic on his experiences, providing readers with an up-to-date viewpoint on the necessity of strong male friendships, especially during times of crisis. A refreshing and entertaining personal perspective on why men need male friends. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.
