Review by Booklist Review
A licensed social worker, child development specialist, and director of parenting resources at child advocacy organization ZERO TO THREE, Lerner shares her 30-plus years of experience of working with families and the eight faulty mindsets she believes "prevent parents from setting loving limits." First she explains how these flawed mindsets, from "my child is misbehaving on purpose" to "experiencing difficult emotions is harmful to my child," negatively affect behaviors in early childhood. Lerner next walks readers through several real-life examples of parents struggling with their young children. Lerner advises that rather than expecting their toddlers to control their emotions, readers should, with empathy, know that their children are driven by emotions and need help to follow rules and cope with frustration. Lerner describes how to shift these faulty mindsets and addresses the most common areas of challenge during the toddler years: cooperation, tantrums, aggression, sleep, potty learning, and feeding. The final chapter, on discipline, encourages responsive instead of reactive parenting. Solid guidance for rediscovering the joy of parenting and creating more positive connections with children.
From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review
Child development--specialist Lerner (Learning & Growing Together) turns her decades of experience into an easy-to-implement guide for navigating common sticking points of early childhood. Her goal is to shift parents' perspectives so as to accept "that you can't control your children but you can control the situation," as that mindset "enables you to focus on changing your reactions in a way that reduces power struggles." After identifying eight "faulty mindsets" (such as "my child is misbehaving on purpose" and "experiencing failure is harmful for my child"), Lerner tackles thorny issues such as tantrums (parents should view them as a form of "temporary distress" that ultimately leads to resilience), aggression (creating a "cooldown space" can help), and potty training (reframe it as "potty learning," to start). Lerner bolsters her advice with case studies and real-world anecdotes: to end mealtime battles, for example, Lerner writes of a child who was provided two plates, one for preferred foods and the other a "learning plate," which encouraged her to try new things. Recap strategy lists round out chapters, providing straightforward steps that will help readers put her advice into practice. Parents of young children in particular will welcome Lerner's perspective and actionable advice. (Sept.)
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Review by Library Journal Review
Social worker and child development specialist Lerner was the director of parenting resources at the national organization Zero to Three for nearly two decades, during which she met with many parents who expressed feelings of helplessness or loss of control when in conflict with their toddlers. In this book, Lerner argues that eight "faulty mindsets" can prevent parents from objectively approaching conflict. She addresses ways parents can shift their mindset when facing common concerns of toddler years (tantrums, cooperation, aggression, sleep, potty training, feeding, dealing with children with highly sensitive temperaments). These are accompanied by case studies of parents struggling with a variety of situations (there's little detail about the study participants' backgrounds). VERDICT This helpful resource posits that shifting one's mindset can help parents see conflicts objectively and identify causes; its tactics should equip parents to center their needs and their child's.
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