Brain-body parenting How to stop managing behavior and start raising joyful, resilient kids

Mona Delahooke

Book - 2022

From a leading child psychologist comes this groundbreaking new understanding of children's behavior, offering insight and strategies to support both parents and children. Over her decades as a clinical psychologist, Dr. Mona Delahooke has routinely counseled distraught parents who struggle to manage their children's challenging, sometimes oppositional behaviors. These families are understandably focused on correcting or improving a child's lack of compliance, emotional outbursts, tantrums, and other "out of control" behavior. But, as she has shared with these families, a perspective shift is needed. Behavior, no matter how challenging, is not the problem but a symptom; a clue about what is happening in a child...9;s unique physiologic makeup. In Brain-Body Parenting, Dr. Delahooke offers a radical new approach to parenting based on her clinical experience as well as the most recent research in neuroscience and child psychology. Instead of a "top-down" approach to behavior that focuses on the thinking brain, she calls for a "bottom-up" approach that considers the essential role of the entire nervous system, which produces children's feelings and behaviors. When we begin to understand the biology beneath the behavior, suggests Dr. Delahooke, we give our children the resources they need to grow and thrive--and we give ourselves the gift of a happier, more connected relationship with them. Brain-Body Parenting empowers parents with tools to help their children develop self-regulation skills while also encouraging parental self-care, which is crucial for parents to have the capacity to provide the essential "co-regulation" children need. When parents shift from trying to secure compliance to supporting connection and balance in the body and mind, they unlock a deeper understanding of their child, encouraging calmer behavior, more harmonious family dynamics, and increased resilience.

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Subjects
Genres
Self-help publications
Published
New York : Harper Wave, an imprint of HarperCollins Publishers [2022]
Language
English
Main Author
Mona Delahooke (author)
Edition
First edition
Physical Description
viii, 343 pages ; 24 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references (pages 321-335) and index.
ISBN
9780063061316
  • Introduction: Personalizing Your Parenting
  • Part I. Understanding Brain-Body Parenting
  • 1. How to Understand Your Child's Physiology-and Why It's Important
  • 2. Neuroception and the Quest to Feel Safe and Loved
  • 3. The Three Pathways and the Check-In: How Understanding the Brain and Body Can Help Us Respond to Our Children
  • Part II. Solutions
  • 4. Nurturing Children's Ability to Self-Regulate
  • 5. Taking Care of Yourself
  • 6. Making Sense of the Senses: How Emotions Arise from the Body's Experience of the World
  • 7. The First Year
  • 8. Tantrums Throw Toddlers: Putting Toddlerhood in Context
  • 9. Elementary School-Age Kids: Flexibility and Creating a Big Tool Chest
  • 10. Flourishing
  • Acknowledgments
  • Glossary
  • Notes
  • Bibliography
  • Index
Review by Library Journal Review

Pediatric psychologist Delahooke (Beyond Behaviors: Using Brain Science and Compassion To Understand and Solve Children's Behavioral Challenges) outlines how parents can discover what's underlying their child's behavior, rather than merely managing the behavior itself. Her book emphasizes the importance of understanding both the brain and the body and cites research in neuroscience and psychology. By learning how the brain and body react in tandem, parents can make wise choices and approach challenging moments as experiences that provide crucial information about their child, Delahooke argues. For instance, she advocates looking to children's body signals (body language, facial expressions, gestures) and letting those signs moderate parents' responses and set out a road map for making decisions. Delahooke gives other examples of applying neuroscience to parenting too, like looking without judging; validating a child's experience; and reflecting on the parent's own experiences of personal struggle, in order to model healthy emotional regulation. The book includes ideas for nurturing children's ability to self-regulate, shares tips for self-care, and explains how sensory information can influence children's behaviors. VERDICT A fascinating and practical look at how neurobiology can be applied to parenting challenges.

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