Family values Reset trust, boundaries, and connection with your child

Psychiatrist Sophy (Side by Side: The Revolutionary Mother-Daughter Program for Conflict-Free Communication) aims to help readers create the "secure, loving, joyful, lasting family you've always wanted" in this mostly solid survey. A core element of his approach is his SWEEP process for "assessing how well your basic needs are being met, and making a plan to fulfill those needs." It covers sleep, work, eating, emotional expression, and play: with those in balance, Sophy writes, families have a better shot at well-being. He includes real-life examples of family challenges and how they were addressed, from a mother whose parenting is "negatively influenced by her childhood" to a daughter who is "in charge" of a "dangerous parent/child dynamic." As well, the book contains a number self-assessments, including one for confronting one's past and a "Family Power Questionnaire" ("Do you find yourself getting increasingly angry when responding to your child?"). But there are so many exercises that busy parents may be left feeling overwhelmed ("I'm about to give you some hard work that's so difficult you might find yourself wanting to cry," Sophy warns before one set of questions). Motivated readers who stay the course, though, will find plenty of tools for building a stronger family. (Oct.)

Sophy (Side by Side), best known for his numerous appearances on Dr. Phil, is a physician, parent, and former medical director of the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family Services (DCFS). He starts with the lofty claim that readers have just opened the last book they'll ever need to create the family they've always wanted. A family unit is only as strong as its weakest member, the author opines, and many parents struggle to live as role models owing to a lack of resources and emotional tools in their own formative years. Sophy attempts to teach parents how to hit the reset button by including case studies gathered during his many years working at DCFS. Each chapter concludes with questions designed to help the parent reflect, evaluate, and determine how to bring about change. Putting family values first and in action is the focus of the second half; it urges parents fulfill their own needs first to best meet those of their children. Factors affecting a variety of families, including LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC, are not sufficiently addressed in this manual. VERDICT Not recommended for its narrow scope.