The shift : change your perspective, not yourself

The shift Change your perspective, not yourself

Tinx

Book - 2023

It's time to get laser focused on what makes us feel happy and fulfilled. Lifestyle creator, advice expert, and podcast host Tinx wants to take your hand and guide you to a new way of thinking about life, love, happiness, and friendships--where dating evolves into era of self-discovery and not just a means to an end, sharing wisdom becomes a collective power, and chaos turns into a source of creativity. Making small but mighty shifts in thinking can be a tool for personal growth that fuels you instead of fatigues you. The point is to know yourself, discover what you fulfills you, and have fun along the way.

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Subjects
Change (Psychology)
Attitude (Psychology)
Dating (Social customs)
Self-actualization (Psychology)
Self-esteem in women.
Self-help publications.
Genres
Self-help publications
Published
New York : Simon & Schuster 2023.
Language
English
Main Author
Tinx (author)
Edition
First Simon & Schuster hardcover edition
Physical Description
xx, 263 pages ; 22 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN
9781668007631
  • Introduction
  • Part 1. Dating (Crushes, Texting, First Dates, and Hooking Up)
  • Scarcity Mindset: Her Success Is Not My Failure
  • Crush List: Part Manifestation, Part Organization, Magic Spell-Meets-Spreadsheet
  • Before the First Message: Dating Apps, DMs, and the Art of Online Stalking
  • Before the First Date: A Course in Box Theory
  • Reverse Box Theory: Evidence-Based Thinking vs. Future Tripping
  • The Talking Phase: Texting Means Everything and It Also Doesn't Matter
  • "When We Hanging?" and Other Things that Don't Count as Dating
  • Tinx's Calendar Calculus: Your Cheat Sheet for Dating Timeline Best Practices
  • Fuck Me Sideways: Sex on Your Terms
  • A Hot Girl's Guide: How to Trap a Fuckboi
  • Data Collection: How to Work Through the Tantrum and Keep the Scent Going
  • Ick List: The Anti-Crush List
  • POV: Main Character Energy
  • RMW: The Nonnegotiables of Your Life
  • Software Update: Dating in Other Cities
  • Beware, Hazards Ahead: Ghosting, Breadcrumbing, and Love Bombing
  • Closing Ceremonies: Holding Funerals
  • Part 2. Together and Apart (Coupling Up, Breaking Up, and Getting Over It)
  • Boyfriends: When You Know, You (Don't) Know
  • Investment Strategy for Relationships: Stockbroker vs. Venture Capitalist Approach
  • What About When Everything Is Great?
  • Boyfriend Sickness: There Is No Cure, Only Containment
  • Heartbreak Antibodies: Building Up Your Immunity
  • Young Gemini: Better to Have Loved and Lost
  • Living Well Is the Best Revenge: Thoughts on Cheating
  • Say It with Me: Men Always Come Back or Their Lives Get Worse
  • The Road to Recovery: Rest, Routine, Reevaluation, and Rebounds
  • I've Had the Time of My Life: An Ode to Being Single
  • Fake Boyfriends: Navigating the Delicate Balance of Platonic Friendships
  • Gimme a Break: A Guide to Dumping with Dignity
  • Part 3. Self-Worth and Self-Knowledge (The Era of Self-Discovery)
  • All by Myself … Just Wanna Be … All by Myself
  • Good Ideas from Bad Places: Pulling Creativity out of Chaos
  • How to Lose Friends and Influence People
  • Hoes over Bros: How to Be a Better Friend
  • If You Don't Have Anything Nice to Say: A Better Way to Talk About Bodies
  • Best Hour of the Week: What Therapy Has Taught Me
  • Parents Are just People: How to Make Sense of Your Life by Examining Your Mom and Dad
  • The Ultimate Shift: Taking Responsibility for Your Own Happiness
  • Different Strokes: Following Your Own Timeline
  • Afterword
  • Tinx's Glossary
  • Recommended Reading
  • Acknowledgments
  • Index
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

TikTok star and It's Me, Tinx podcaster Tinx encourages women to take an empowered stance toward dating in her chatty, candid debut. Though many women have been "brainwashed" by a culture that prizes male validation, Tinx writes--even Sex and the City, a show that featured four successful female leads, boiled down to "Will she end up with this guy or that guy?"--dating shouldn't be a means to an end, but a process of self discovery. The author dispenses advice on first impressions ("evaluate him like you'd evaluate your best friend's new guy"), better sex ("the key... is getting out of your head and into your body"), and redefining what makes a date successful ("Sometimes it's a date where you try Ethiopian food the first time"). Once in a relationship, the author counsels, readers should guard themselves from the perils of "Boyfriend Sickness," an "affliction that causes you to lose yourself" in a relationship, by staying connected to friends and remaining invested in personal interests. Despite a few tips that seem not to align with the self-directed bent of the rest of her advice ("matching his energy" while texting, referring to enthusiasm, feels akin to game playing), her advice is mostly sensible, delivered with a healthy dose of humor, and backed by accounts of her own dating foibles. This will refresh those seeking a new approach to dating. (May)

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