When You Become Whole on Your Own I spent most of my twenties waiting for someone else to put me together: to tell me I was good enough, to make me less afraid, to teach me what I should value most. I weighed other people's opinions more than my own due to insecurity and a lack of self-trust, which meant the decisions I made were based on someone else's ideas of who I should be. What I most longed for was a sense of wholeness, but I looked for it in the wrong place: somewhere outside myself. My life began coming together when I realized that the only person responsible for my happiness . . . is me. I stopped waiting for someone else to give me permission and began living the life I wanted. I traveled alone because I wanted to see the world. I painted because I felt there was an artist inside me. I reached out to strangers and asked if they wanted to spend time together. I nurtured these new connections and received the gift of incredible friendship in return. I said yes to opportunities that scared me and became more confident each time I accomplished something I never thought I would. Becoming whole is an ongoing process--something you will achieve only to find that once again, it's all come undone. Life stretches to accommodate your vision of it, and what I dreamt of was a life bursting with a variety of experiences and environments. My life now reflects the one I dreamt of: not one without failure or sadness, but one that has a sense of fullness-- because there is meaning stitched through every experience. Excerpted from How It Feels to Find Yourself: Navigating Life's Changes with Purpose, Clarity, and Heart by Meera Lee Patel All rights reserved by the original copyright owners. Excerpts are provided for display purposes only and may not be reproduced, reprinted or distributed without the written permission of the publisher.
