Raising a kid who can Simple strategies to build a lifetime of adaptability and emotional strength

Catherine McCarthy

Book - 2023

"Three mental health professionals cut through the "parenting advice" noise with this accessible, easy-to-skim book filled with actionable strategies and tips to help parents focus only what's truly essential and build their child's neurobiological capacity to thrive where they are planted, in good times and bad. The content centers around 10 "essentials": 1 Rest, recreation, and routine 2 Attention skills and self-control 3 Tolerance for difficult feelings 4 Tools to accept and manage anxiety 5 Psychological flexibility 6 Independence 7 Self-motivation 8 Compassion and gratitude 9 Resilience 10 Parents and caregivers who strive to embody these essentials, too-and who embrace that they themselves, just lik...e their children, are works in progress"--

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Subjects
Genres
Self-help publications
Published
New York : Workman Publishing [2023]
Language
English
Main Author
Catherine McCarthy (author)
Other Authors
Heather Tedesco (author), Jennifer (Social worker) Weaver
Physical Description
280 pages : illustrations ; 23 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references and index.
ISBN
9781523518593
  • Welcome
  • What's going on in your kid's brain
  • Getting your three Rs: rest recreation and routine
  • Learning to focus: attention and self-control
  • Feeling uncomfortable: tolerating difficult feelings
  • Avoiding avoidance: accepting anxiety
  • Staying flexible: psychological adaptability
  • Letting go: building independence
  • Trusting the spark: motivation
  • Being human: compassion and gratitude
  • Bouncing back: resilience
  • All together now: living the playbook
  • Raising a kid in the digital age.
Review by Booklist Review

Children are works in progress, as are the parents who raise them, and this parenting guide by three mental health specialists insists that it is never too late for adults to reach out to their children and assist in their development. The book introduces ten fundamental principles for parents to consider, including "Attention and SelfControl" and "Compassion and Gratitude". Tips include reminding parents that for a child to thrive, they must get the appropriate amount of rest, recreation, and routine for their age group; suggesting that parents must manage their own stress and anxiety so as not to project it onto their children; and encouraging parents to grant children their independence on a piecemeal basis, whether it be letting a school-age child walk home alone or allowing a toddler to assist in household chores. Throughout, the authors stress the importance of engaging with children, be it through conversations or activities. With insightful analysis and amusing anecdotes, McCarthy, Heather Tedesco, and Jennifer Weaver have written an accessible and well-researched book that gives parents extra guidance on child rearing by offering actionable tips.

From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

Psychiatrist McCarthy, psychologist Tedesco, and therapist Weaver debut with a solid program on how parents can "protect and prepare" kids to face "the ordinary challenges of today." They outline 10 "essential" skills "every child needs in order to thrive," including focus, gratitude, independence, motivation, and resilience. To help children with "tolerating difficult feelings," the authors suggest parents expand their kids' emotional vocabulary and teach them to complete the sentence "I feel ____ about ____ because ____" when distressed. Providing advice on assisting kids in coping with their anxiety, the authors counsel parents to ask them, "What's the worst that could happen?" "How likely is that to happen?" and "Could you handle it if that happened?" Scientific background bolsters the straightforward suggestions, as when the authors recommend encouraging independence by tasking kids with chores, noting a Harvard University study that found kids who did chores were more likely to have a strong work ethic as adults. The "tough love" advice makes for a potent corrective to helicopter parenting, as when the authors advocate for assigning "your child tasks they are terrible at" and refraining from monitoring them so they can practice while gaining a sense of independence. It's a valuable guide for helping kids help themselves. (Sept.)

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Review by Library Journal Review

In a complicated, breakneck-speed world that scientists believe will only accelerate for the next generation, parents still aim to raise kids with traits such as adaptability, independence, motivation, compassion, gratitude, and resilience. Mental health professionals McCarthy, Heather Tedesco, and Jennifer Weaver present parents with engaging brain science-backed advice for incorporating these values into their family and determining how they will enable children (and parents) to thrive. They cover five principles for parents to adopt: "Resilience," "Attention and Self-Control," "Psychological Flexibility," "Self-Motivation," and "Compassion and Gratitude." Their book is formatted like a travel guide; each chapter contains a summary takeaway section, an in-the-trenches story from case study parents, and an illustration of why the featured principle is important. The authors contrast the rewards and punishment mindsets present in today's society. VERDICT Comprehensive and intriguing; can be used as a quick reference.

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