He/she/they How we talk about gender and why it matters

Review by Booklist Review

Bailar is the first openly trans NCAA Division 1 swimmer. He, like Laverne Cox and Elliot Page, is part of a much wider discussion not only on trans communities and gender identity but also for folks who may not realize they are expressing antitrans sentiments. Bailar and others receive continued criticism for having an "unfair" advantage, or accusations of cheating to win. Through his personal experiences, he grounds the reader in understanding why antitrans rhetoric and violence have reached disturbingly high levels and why they disproportionately affect trans people of color, particularly Black trans women. Sharing the experiences of coming out as trans, Bailar explains to readers how to understand transness and gender, why language matters, and how to be an ally. This book is both a wonderful resource for readers who want to know more on these topics but aren't sure where to start and for trans folks looking how to navigate coming out, dating, mental health, and more. There's also a section on the unique challenges that trans athletes have continued to face, reinforcing why transitioning is more multifaceted than surgeries and hormones. Highly recommended for public libraries.

From Booklist, Copyright (c) American Library Association. Used with permission.

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Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

Transgender activist and former Harvard University swimmer Bailar (Obie Is Man Enough) offers a smart and accessible discussion of gender and sexuality, adapted from hundreds of speeches on trans inclusion he has given across the country over the past four years. Bailar, the first openly transgender athlete to compete in any NCAA Division I men's college sport, writes that he did not intend to become a transgender educator, but when his high school asked him to give a speech about transgender inclusion, the experience helped him realize that what young transgender people really need are public figures who empathize with them and inspire hope. Combining memoir and reportage, Bailar addresses fundamental issues such as why pronouns are important, why being transgender is not a choice, and how transgender healthcare can save trans people's lives. He also touches on more complex topics such as how trans men navigate toxic masculinity and how race affects one's experience of being transgender. Explaining that state governments have introduced record-breaking numbers of anti-transgender legislation in the past three years, he encourages readers to speak out about transgender rights and educate people about what it means to be trans. Written for both a trans and a general readership, Bailar's account is lucid and accessible. It's a solid introduction to why trans rights matter. (Oct.)Correction: An earlier version of this review mistakenly used a term that some in the trans community find offensive.

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Review by Kirkus Book Review

Understanding the realities of gender identities. In this remarkable book, Bailar, the first trans athlete to play a sport on an NCAA Division 1 men's team and now a prominent advocate for trans rights, reflects on his experiences as a trans man and explains how we might best comprehend and discuss gender identity. In four sections, the author provides definitions of critical concepts related to gender, recommendations about ways to discuss complex and sensitive issues, scientifically informed debunking of common misconceptions, and guidance about how trans individuals and their allies can successfully navigate the challenges of an often transphobic society. Along the way, Bailar astutely unpacks the assumptions informing key debates that have become flashpoints in the nation's culture wars: the appropriateness of surgery and hormone treatments for young people; the participation of trans individuals in sports; the politics of bathrooms; the significance of pronoun use; and the relationship between trans identities and mental illness. Among the many strengths of this book is the author's patient, informed unfolding of his arguments. Though his claims are obviously deeply held and passionately rendered, Bailar refrains from polemics and remains generous toward those who might disagree. Another key point is the author's linking of transphobia to other forms of prejudice and indictment of deep-seated cultural anxieties about gender and sexual orientation. Trans individuals, he writes, "are a threat because our very identities disrupt the most basic conventions of Western society: cis white patriarchal power--the system of oppression that has built and controlled this country since its inception…we know ourselves even when those in power say it is impossible for us to exist." Bailar's appeals for understanding could not be timelier, given the recent rise of anti-trans legislation as well as anti-trans violence. For those seeking such understanding, this is an invaluable resource. A wonderfully clear and convincing guide to comprehending and defending gender diversity. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

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