The laws of connection The scientific secrets of building a strong social network

David Robson

Book - 2024

"This groundbreaking study reveals how social connections are far more important than we thought, showing us the steps we can take to build better relationships and improve our lives. Social connection is as essential for our health and happiness as a balanced diet and regular exercise. It reduces our risk of stroke, heart disease, and Alzheimer's. It enhances our creativity and adds years to our life span. Yet many of us struggle to form strong and meaningful bonds--and the problem lies not with our personalities but with a series of cognitive biases that stop us from fulfilling our social potential. In The Laws of Connection, award-winning science writer David Robson describes the psychological barriers that lead us to keep othe...rs at a distance and offers evidence-based strategies to overcome them. Drawing on philosophy, neuroscience, and cutting-edge psychology, Robson introduces readers to new concepts such as the liking gap, the novelty penalty, the fast-friendship procedure, the beautiful mess effect, and the Japanese art of amae. Whether we are shy or confident, introvert or extrovert, we can all build deeper relationships. The Laws of Connection shows us how"--

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Subjects
Published
New York : Pegasus Books 2024.
Language
English
Main Author
David Robson (author)
Edition
First Pegasus Books cloth edition
Physical Description
307 pages : illustrations ; 24 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references (pages 261-299) and index.
ISBN
9781639366484
  • Introduction
  • Part 1. Building Connections
  • Chapter 1. The Social Cure
  • Chapter 2. How We Connect
  • Chapter 3. The Personality Myth
  • Chapter 4. Overcoming Egocentric Thinking
  • Chapter 5. The Art of Conversation
  • Chapter 6. Expressing Appreciation
  • Part 2. Maintaining Connections
  • Chapter 7. Truth, Lies and Secrets
  • Chapter 8. Avoiding Envy and Enjoying Confelicity
  • Chapter 9. Asking for Help
  • Chapter 10. Healing Bad Feelings
  • Chapter 11. Constructive Disagreement
  • Chapter 12. Finding Forgiveness
  • Conclusion: The Thirteenth Law of Connection
  • Further Reading
  • Glossary
  • Acknowledgements
  • Credits
  • Notes
  • Index
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

"Social connection is one of the most important predictors of physical and mental health," yet "few of us are getting enough of it," according to this persuasive study from science writer Robson (The Intelligence Trap). Explaining how these health benefits arise, Robson notes that social connections form when two people establish a "shared reality" where each believes the other "thinks and feels and interprets in broadly the same way as us." He goes on to suggest that a "sense of being understood by others--and understanding them in return" underlies "the link between social connection and health." With this theory as a springboard, Robson provides advice for strengthening one's social network by bonding over "the... ways that your thoughts and feelings coincide" rather than superficial similarities. He also encourages readers to trust that others, "on average, will like you as much as you like them," and maintain civility in moments of disagreement by displaying genuine interest in the other person's viewpoint. Robson skillfully traces the benefits of social connection down to their psychological and neuroscientific roots without getting too mired in the science, and concludes chapters with specific "action points," such as asking "why questions--which encourage broader insights--rather than how questions" in moments of conflict. Those struggling to reestablish social bonds in the wake of the pandemic will find Robson's insights especially valuable. (June)

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