Complicit How our culture enables misbehaving men

Former PBS news producer Bravo's thoughtful book considers the underlying psychological and social conditioning that informs human behavior during incidents of sexual harassment. She quickly asserts that she is not trying to establish blame or assign labels like victim, predator, or participant--she is instead looking for insights, acknowledging that everyone, men and women alike, suffers from the effects of toxic social conditioning. She digs deep, considering the origins of human psychological defenses such as victim blaming, entitlement, and creating narratives to explain events beyond our control. These self-protective behaviors are exacerbated, she feels, by uniquely American convictions that we control our own destinies and can assure happy endings. Bravo interviewed over 100 people for this book and also reflects honestly on her own experiences; she was one of the many women sexually exploited by news anchor Charlie Rose. With examples from anthropological studies, contemporary children's books, the film Barbie, and more, Bravo offers scenarios that will resonate with readers. She suggests that only once we understand the inescapable conditioning that causes us all to be complicit in behaviors associated with ingrained patriarchy can we move beyond and rise above. Her balanced and nuanced observations give readers much to think about.

Bravo unpacks "our complicity" by assigning responsibility for women's mistreatment at the hands of men to internalized patriarchal norms. In 2017, the author accused Charlie Rose of sexual misconduct toward her a decade earlier. In the introduction, she examines how "women are conditioned to enable their own mistreatment." From various angles, she attacks the blaming of victims, heteronormative gender roles, and the forcing of women, in the interest of self-preservation, to choose "the least shitty of shit options." Bravo weaves stories of women's interactions with predatory men with social psychology studies about unconscious acceptance of power biases, and she quotes a wide variety of other sources, ranging from bell hooks to Louis C.K. "It's easier to assume that we simply failed…than to recognize how conditioned we've been to acquiesce to men," writes the author. Much of the book is repetitive, but Bravo's points are distinct and often spot-on--e.g., "We're so boxed in by our simplistic, all-or-nothing conception of consent....The patriarchy has never provided easily accessible, effective scripts for confronting male entitlement." The author acknowledges her privileges as a White woman in a racist society. "If you're a white woman like me, you've been given ample opportunity in recent years to reflect on systemic racism and how you're implicated," she writes. Throughout, the author's first-person-plural usage may offer inclusion for a specific group of readers, but it limits both her audience as well as those who may identify with some of the messages and relayed experiences yet don't care to be spoken for. Following 200 pages largely filled with examples of women's mistreatment, Bravo names the single solution as "relentless imagination" and asks, "Can we truly conceive of our lives outside of dominant, patriarchal frameworks?" A work of candor that incites more questions than illuminates answers or a path forward. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.