Parent yourself first Raise confident, compassionate kids by becoming the parent you wish you'd had

Licensed marriage and family therapist Kappadakunnel offers her perspective on raising children by asking parents to reflect upon their own childhoods in order to identify unhealthy patterns from the past--and how they may be negatively affecting their relationships with their own children. With plenty of relatable examples and stories from her clinical practice, she offers clear guidance for parents wanting to overcome their own less-than-perfect childhoods and offer a more connected, confident, and balanced upbringing to their families. Advice on caring for yourself, caring for your child, and working in alignment with your parenting partner and other caregivers is clear and compassionate. Parents seeking creative new ways to recognize and break free of toxic patterns from their own childhoods will find plenty of useful information here that will help them end family power struggles, navigate their children's stress and anxiety, deal with sibling relationships, and understand common childhood behaviors like tantrums and defiance. Thoughtful, reflective, and nonjudgmental, this will be a welcome addition to all parenting collections.

Licensed marriage and family therapist Kappadakunnel argues that being a great parent begins with looking within. Her book shows that examining childhood traumas that may be unresolved, unearthing one's deepest fears and anxieties, and increasing self-compassion are all roots of growth and shadow work. She asserts that this includes facing experiences and individuals with whom one feels unsafe, but it also means identifying people ("stars") in one's life who make them feel seen, heard, safe, and understood, which is important for both parents and children. She recommends using what she calls the LEAN method, which means to locate safe spaces, explore patterns of behavior without judgment, become aware of one's own triggers, and choose a new behavior or action to do. For repairing relationships, the book suggests apologizing and holding oneself accountable to a commitment to do things differently and better. VERDICT This handy book is filled with many practical suggestions and psychological insights for parents to work through their own emotional hardships in order to best help their child through life's challenges. It's a critical tool and introspective for parents who want to to heal and grow from past experiences.