Perfect is boring (and it tastes like kale) : finding belonging and purpose without changing who you are

Perfect is boring (and it tastes like kale) Finding belonging and purpose without changing who you are

Jess Johnston, 1985-

Book - 2025

"Jess Johnston used to feel alone in her mess. In a random burst of courage, she started sharing about those insecurities and struggles out loud, and what she found shocked her. Again and again, people replied, "Me too! I thought I was the only one!" In Perfect is Boring (and It Tastes Like Kale), Jess reminds readers that no one's living a perfect life, and there's a powerful interpersonal connection that happens when we're real about it. Maybe some people are cut out for perfectionism. (Martha Stewart? Daniel Tiger's Mom?) For the rest of us, the secret to living a full and connected life is finding the courage to show up as our real selves and stop participating in our own loneliness. With honesty, hear...t, and humor, Johnston shares the lessons she's learning (and relearning) about cultivating an authentic life, including: "I count, I'm important, and I matter-even if people introduce themselves to me 500 times."; "I want to be the best mother that has ever mothered, but it turns out I'm a mother who has a literal meltdown because her vacuum got run over by the car."; "Showing up is more important than winning. Trying is more important than saving face""--

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Subjects
Self-acceptance.
Self-perception.
Self-realization.
Perfectionism (Personality trait)
Published
New York : Convergent [2025]
Language
English
Main Author
Jess Johnston, 1985- (author)
Edition
First edition
Physical Description
xix, 158 pages ; 22 cm
Bibliography
Includes bibliographical references.
ISBN
9780593728246
  • Introduction: Confessions of a Big, Gigantic Failure (Who Learned to Love Herself as She Is)
  • Part 1. Lies That Keep Us from Loving Ourselves as We Are (Or, Becoming an imperfectionist)
  • Lie #1. Today I'll Be Perfect
  • Lie #3. They Forgot My Name Again, and I Think I Might Actually Be Invisible
  • Lie #4. I'm Going to Need to Shrink, Suck It All In, Quiet Down, and Possibly Disappear
  • Lie #5. Pretending to Be Fine Is the Same Thing as Being Fine
  • Part 2. Lies That Keep Us from Connection (Or, How to Quit Performing and Start Belonging)
  • Lie #6. If I'm Rejected, i Will Die
  • Lie #7. My Job Is to Keep People Happy and Make Sure They Like Me
  • Lie #8. Neighbors Are Weird
  • Lie #9. Asking for Help Is a Terrible Idea, Because Then Everyone is Going to Know I Need Help
  • Part 3. Lies That Keep Us from Dreaming Big and Living a Full Life (Or, How to Try Things Without Fear of Failure)
  • Lie #10. I'm a Junior Varsity Adult, and the Best Spot for Me is Usually the Bench
  • Lie #11. It's Better Not to Try Than to Mess Up in Front of Everyone
  • Lie #12. I Can't Do That Because No One Does That
  • Lie #13. If I Can't Go Big, I Should Just Go Home
  • Lie #14. It's Better to Dream Small Because then I won't be Disappointed
  • Epilogue: Your Turn, in Your Way
  • Sources
Review by Publisher's Weekly Review

In this quippy guide, Motherly contributor Johnston (coauthor of I'll Be There (but I'll Be Wearing Sweatpants)) calls on women to cast aside unrealistic social expectations and embrace their God-given "flaws and gifts." Recalling her adolescent struggles with an eating disorder, the author describes how she transformed "from a girl who hated her flaws and was at war with her body to one who thinks her flaws are some of the greatest things about her." She did so by dismantling false notions that lead to personal dissatisfaction--among them that rejection is akin to social death, that one must "be all things to all people," and that asking for help is a sign of weakness. Solid suggestions, like recognizing that what brings "peace and purpose" is important even if it seems ordinary--"I don't always feel excited about the day-to-day mundane (sometimes I lose myself down a rabbit hole of Instagram escapism), but I know deep down it's where I'm supposed to be"--are enlivened by Johnston's refreshingly self-aware humor ("Hi, I'm Jess and I'm a people pleaser. I also dabble in codependency just for fun"). Christian women should take note of this down-to-earth invitation to seek self-acceptance. (Feb.)

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Review by Library Journal Review

Johnston, coauthor of I'll Be There (But I'll Be Wearing Sweatpants), takes a humorous, tongue-in-cheek approach to life in this book aimed at busy moms who might feel they aren't doing enough. Johnston shows how the picture-perfect lives on social media aren't realistic and how readers can learn to let go of FOMO and enjoy the life they have, in the process making unique memories with their families. Each chapter confronts one lie about perfection, shows how Johnston struggled with and countered it to make a satisfying life, home, and marriage for herself, and ends with a concrete action that readers can take to do the same. While not exactly a book on "adulting," this volume does serve as a good pep talk on being a better adult and will pair well with How To Keep House While Drowning by KC Davis and anything by Jenny Lawson. VERDICT A charming and quick read for those who need a boost in confidence and a chuckle. Great for humor and lifestyle collections.--Amanda Ray

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