Making friends as an adult
Book - 2025
"'Making Friends as an Adult' helps you overcome the challenges of building friendships, forming new bonds, and meeting new people. First, you'll learn what your friendship needs are and decide what kind of friends you'd like to meet. Then you'll get concrete advice for building a new social circle, turning acquaintances into good friends, and letting go of friendships that just aren't working out. Single or married, parent or childfree, many people face these same challenges. This guide will show you that you aren't alone and will help you discover sustainable ways to overcome loneliness, keep friendships going despite occasional tension, and build your 'family of choice'"--
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- Subjects
- Genres
- Handbooks and manuals
handbooks
Guides et manuels - Published
-
Hoboken, New Jersey :
John Wiley & Sons, Inc
[2025]
- Language
- English
- Main Author
- Item Description
- Includes index.
- Physical Description
- xviii, 356 pages ; 24 cm
- ISBN
- 9781394288458
- Introduction
- About This Book
- Foolish Assumptions
- Icons Used in This Book
- Beyond the Book
- Where to Go from Here
- Part 1. Uncovering the Challenges of Making New Friends as an Adult
- Chapter 1. Understanding the Challenges of Making Friends
- Exploring the Reasons Why Making New Friends Is Challenging
- Believing they don't have time
- Prioritizing work, family, and romantic relationships over friendships
- Moving away and starting over
- Being rigid about friendships
- Being apathetic
- Navigating trust issues
- Being hampered by social anxiety
- Having fewer opportunities to make new friends
- Having rusty social skills
- Having smaller social circles due to the pandemic
- Exploring How Common It Is to Struggle with Friendships
- Exploring the epidemic of loneliness
- Understanding social isolation
- Identifying New Turning Points
- Moving to a new city and starting over
- Becoming a new parent
- Getting divorced and having to create a new social life
- Being widowed
- Retiring and leaving friends behind at work
- Outgrowing your friend group
- Working from home
- Understanding Why Adulthood Is a Great Time for New Friendships
- Chapter 2. Discovenng Why Some People Have a Harder Time Making Friends
- Seeing Why Men Have a Harder Time Making Friends
- Doing things side by side
- Having smaller social circles
- Making friends if you're a man
- Understanding Why LGBTQIA + People Have a Harder Time with Friendships
- Distinguishing between platonic vibes and romantic vibes
- Making friends when you're queer
- Exploring Why Parents of Older Kids Have a Harder Time Making Friends
- Dealing with an empty nest and lost friendships
- Making friends if your kids are older
- Understanding Why Older Adults Have a Harder Time Making Friends
- Identifying why friendships are important for older adults
- Making friends when you're older
- Understanding Why Neurodivergent People Have a Harder Time Making Friends
- Seeing why friendships are important for neurodivergent people
- Making friends when you're neurodivergent
- Chapter 3. Assessing Your Friendship Needs
- Exploring Why We Need Adult Friendships
- The importance of friendship for overall well-being
- The benefits of friendship for health and longevity
- How friendship provides a circle of support
- Contemplating How Many Friends You Really Need
- Exploring friendship turnover
- Understanding Dunbar's number
- Clarifying Why You Want More Friends
- Having more people to do things with
- Feeling more connected
- Reducing loneliness
- Developing a circle of support
- Determining Whether You're an introvert or an Extrovert and Knowing Why It Matters
- Discovering your type
- Determining the impact on friendships
- Doing a Friendship Self-Evaluation
- Determining How Often You Want to Meet Up with Friends
- Living Your Best Life
- Chapter 4. Manifesting Your Ideal Friend
- Reflecting on Important Friendship Qualities
- Thinking like a real estate agent
- Considering what qualities make you a good friend
- Preferring a friend who is similar to you or different from you
- Remembering the Ghosts of Friendships Past
- Your first best friend
- Friendship mistakes you don't want to repeat
- Having Multiple Friendship Baskets
- Setting Friendship Goals
- Setting short-term friendship goals
- Setting long-term friendship goals
- Determining Your Overall Friendship Strategy
- Writing a friendship mission statement
- Taking on a new friendship challenge
- Designing Your Friendship Vision Board
- Creating your vision board
- Deciding what to include
- Creating Positive Friendship Affirmations
- Creating positive affirmations
- Using positive affirmations
- Part 2. Discovering How to Make New Friends
- Chapter 5. Finding Friends in New Places
- Knowing What It Takes for Friendships to Happen
- Proximity: Keeping your friends close
- Frequency: Making time
- Branching Out from Your Regular Routine
- Joining Groups to Make Friends
- Knowing what to look for in a group
- Committing to the group for three sessions
- Seeing who you connect with
- Identifying the Top Places to Find Like-Minded Friends
- Meetup groups and Facebook social groups
- Senior centers
- Gyms and exercise classes
- New parents groups
- Newcomers' groups
- Religious congregations
- Advocacy groups
- Online social groups or discussion forums
- In-person or online adult learning
- Neighborhoods
- Book clubs
- Sports leagues
- Alumni groups
- Professional networking organizations
- Friendship apps
- Volunteer activities
- Starting Your Own Social Group
- Deciding what type of group to start
- Knowing how to start your own group
- Hosting events to find friends
- Chapter 6. Approaching New People
- Leaving Your Comfort Zone
- Building up your courage
- Risking rejection
- Understanding the importance of positive self-talk
- Deciding Who to Approach in New Settings
- Looking for newcomers
- Finding friendly people
- Finding others who are similar to you
- Meeting others in a similar life stage
- Connecting with others who seem lonely
- Deciding If Someone Is Open to Meeting New People
- Demonstrating positive body language
- Having an approachable demeanor
- Hanging out solo
- Having a friendly attitude
- Knowing when someone doesn't want to be approached
- Exploring the Best Ways to Approach People
- Identifying the benefits of approaching first
- Understanding where you can approach new people
- Identifying places where you shouldn't try to meet new people
- Approaching new people without giving off dating vibes
- Acing Your First Impression
- Understanding why first impressions matter
- Setting yourself up for success
- Figuring Out If You Click with Someone New
- Experiencing friend chemistry
- Determining how you feel around them
- Sharing mutual interests in common
- Keeping in Mind That You're Not Going to Like Everyone
- Assuming that people like you
- Improving your self-esteem
- Remembering that not everyone is looking for a friend
- Being prepared to kiss a lot of frogs
- Being patient
- Chapter 7. Making Small Talk with New People
- Demystifying Small Talk
- Warming up
- Talking to strangers
- Psyching Yourself Up for Smalt Talk
- Deciding when and where to make small talk
- Determining how long to chat
- Mastering the Art of Small Talk
- Giving compliments
- Asking open-ended questions
- Asking about their work or hobbies
- Being a good listener
- Asking for advice or recommendations
- Wrapping Up Small Talk
- Exploring What It Means to Be "Bad at Small Talk"
- Chapter 8. Coping with Shyness and Social Anxiety
- Understanding Shyness
- Understanding when people feel shy
- Exploring whether shyness is nature or nurture
- Understanding the symptoms of shyness
- Overcoming shyness
- Exploring Social Anxiety
- Understanding how social anxiety affects friendships
- Understanding signs and symptoms
- Exploring coping strategies
- Chapter 9. How to Be Friendlier
- Discovering the importance of Being Friendlier
- Helping to enhance your social life
- Helping you do better on the job
- Helping you get treated better
- Cultivating More Approachable Traits
- Being positive and uplifting
- Exuding warmth
- Looking put together and having good hygiene
- Showing expressiveness
- Having a sense of humor
- Being easygoing and flexible
- Being humble
- Being a people person
- Being supportive and caring
- Showing vulnerability
- Making Other People Feel Liked
- Making people feel good when they're around you
- Checking in on people
- Being responsive
- Connecting on social media
- Showing interest in them
- Being happy to see them
- Initiating plans
- Showing up for them
- Giving compliments
- Showing appreciation
- Chapter 10. Making Deeper Connections with People
- Diagnosing Your Connection Challenges
- Engaging in self-reflection
- Determining what's in and out of your control
- Exploring compatibility
- Knowing when you've connected deeply
- Understanding the Ingredients of Deeper Connections
- Spending lots of time together
- Having an intense experience that bonds you
- Showing your true colors
- Showing up for others
- Being open
- Paying attention to others
- Having fun together
- Being Vulnerable in Friendships to Form Deeper Connections
- Being vulnerable builds trust
- Sharing something small
- Being able to confide in each other
- Moving from Small Talk to Deeper Conversations
- Understanding the differences
- Recognizing the challenges
- Preparing for deep conversation
- Moving things along with conversation starters
- Being a good listener
- Chapter 11. Turning Acquaintances Into Friends
- Recognizing When You Have an Acquaintance
- Determining If There's Friend Potential
- Deciding if there's a spark
- Troubleshooting when there's no spark
- Planting the Seeds of Friendship
- Inviting them out
- Showing that you're into them
- Asking for a favor
- Inviting them into your home
- Acting like they're already your friend
- Being vulnerable and authentic
- Being a good listener
- Being there when they need help
- Noticing the Shift
- Troubleshooting Friend-Making Challenges
- Being perpetually stuck in the acquaintance stage
- Identifying the pitfalls of trying to befriend any random person
- Handling fear of rejection
- Taking Things Slowly
- Building Courage and Self-Confidence
- Identifying When You've Made a Friend
- Turning Online Friends into Real Friends
- Part 3. Keeping Your Friendships Going
- Chapter 12. Reaching Out to People
- Staying in Touch with Your New Friend
- Determining the right time to exchange contact information
- Psyching yourself up for the big ask
- Asking for their digits in person
- Asking for their digits electronically
- Choosing what contact info to give
- Responding to the "we should get together sometime" phrase
- Reaching Out to Your New Friend
- Knowing when to reach out
- Keeping things casual
- Being willing to compromise
- Making sure your hangout goes smoothly
- Scheduling another get-together
- Dealing with no response
- Coping with rejection
- Following Up with Your Friend
- Determining how often to meet up
- Handling a lack of reciprocity
- Chapter 13. Being a Good Friend
- Understanding the Challenges to Being a Good Friend
- Considering Who You Tend to Gravitate Toward
- Exploring Your Earliest Friendship Role Models
- Embodying the Qualities of a Good Friend
- Being supportive
- Initiating get-togethers
- Being a good listener
- Being nonjudgmental
- Making time for your friend
- Showing interest
- Making them feel valued
- Avoiding being dingy and needy
- Showing up for them
- Being considerate
- Avoiding emotional dumping
- Being honest
- Being respectful of their time
- Being loyal
- Being thoughtful
- Being Inclusive
- Being a good conversationalist
- Keeping a New Friendship Going
- Taking the initiative to plan get-togethers
- Putting yourself out there
- Knowing What to Do When Your Friendship Feels One-Sided
- Interacting on Social Media
- Determining when to become friends or followers on social media
- Interacting with your friend's posts
- Responding to declined friend requests
- Improving Communication with Friends
- Setting Healthy Boundaries with Friends
- Understanding when to set boundaries
- Saying no respectfully
- Chapter 14. Creating a Sense of Community
- Understanding the Concept of Community
- Exploring how community enriches our lives
- Identifying what it feels like to lack community
- Exploring How to Build Community
- Starting with your neighborhood
- Building community at work
- Considering your congregation
- Exploring "third places"
- Seeing the same people regularly
- Starting your own group
- Using the internet
- Participating in community events
- Inviting other people over
- Creating a Family of Choice
- Creating a family of friends
- Exploring online surrogate family sites
- Knowing When You've Built Community
- Part 4. Handling Friendship Foibles
- Chapter 15. Navigating Common Friendship Challenges
- Navigating the Most Common Friendship Challenges
- Dealing with mismatches in expectations
- Dealing with a bossy friend
- Dealing with a competitive friend
- Handling the chronically late friend
- Dealing with the flaky friend
- Being betrayed by a friend
- Dealing with lack of reciprocation and one-sided friendships
- Handling a lack of responsiveness
- Being rejected
- Growing apart
- Working Through Friendship Challenges
- Step 1: Identifying the issues and your feelings
- Step 2: Determining how much it bothers you
- Step 3: Deciding what to let slide
- Step 4: Managing your anger
- Step 5: Considering your friend's perspective
- Step 6: Advocating for yourself
- Step 7: Asking for feedback
- Step 8: Taking a break
- Communicating Effectively with Your Friends
- Using I statements
- Avoiding the blame game
- Deciding to make changes
- Chapter 16. Ending Friendships the Right Way
- Exploring the Most Common Reasons Why Friendships End
- Outgrowing the friendship
- Moving away
- Changing the environment
- Becoming one-sided
- Having irreconcilable differences
- Experiencing major life changes
- Feeling unappreciated and unsupported
- Not liking how you feel around your friend
- Starting a new relationship or having a child
- No longer enjoying their company
- Experiencing betrayal
- Knowing When It's Time to End a Friendship
- Writing the letter you'll never send
- Exploring other considerations when thinking about ending a friendship
- Identifying How Divorce Impacts Friendships
- Keeping your mutual friends after divorce
- Finding new friends after divorce
- Deciding to Downgrade instead of Ending a Friendship
- Exploring Different Ways to End a Friendship
- Ghosting
- Doing the slow fade
- Having an upfront friend breakup discussion
- Coping with a Friendship's End
- Navigating through grief and loss
- Processing your feelings by journaling
- Talking it out
- Leaning on other friends
- Celebrating what was positive about the friendship
- Coming up with a closure ritual
- Chapter 17. Identifying What to Do When Making Friends Seems Impossible
- Understanding Why Nothing Has Worked
- Reflecting on Past Friendship Successes and Challenges
- Thinking back on past friendships
- Reflecting on past friendship milestones
- Trying to reconnect with old friends
- Reconnecting with long-lost family members
- Identifying Your Friendship-Making Strengths and Weaknesses
- Doing a Deep Dive Into Your Friendship Challenges
- Finding a Friendship Mentor
- Coping with Frustration, Sadness, and Loneliness
- Calling in the Professionals
- Working with a therapist
- Finding a support group
- Looking for group therapy
- Chapter 18. Coping with Loneliness
- Distinguishing Between Loneliness and Solitude
- Differentiating Between Chronic Loneliness and Transient Loneliness
- Understanding Why You're Feeling Lonely
- Having fewer connections
- Having difficulty making friends
- You're socially isolated
- You feel like you don't fit in
- You experienced childhood emotional neglect
- Understanding Why Society Is Lonelier Than Ever
- Exploring the Implications of Loneliness
- Identifying the health risks
- Understanding the social implications
- Exploring Coping Strategies for Loneliness
- Coping with an Empty Social Calendar
- Building Resilience
- Engaging in positive self-talk
- Celebrating small wins
- Improving your self-esteem
- Part 5. The Part of Tens
- Chapter 19. Ten Reasons Why You're Having Trouble Making Friends
- You Won't Put in the Time
- You're Not Prioritizing Friendships
- You Want One Friend to Be Your Everything
- You're Not Interested in Others
- You're a Little Too Needy
- You're Doing Something Off-Putting
- You're Not Willing to Reach Out
- It's Your Way or the Highway
- You Have Too Many Friendship Deal-Breakers
- You've Gotten Used to Rejection
- Chapter 20. The Ten Types of Friends You Really Need
- The Activity Partner
- The Connector Friend
- The Older and Wiser Friend
- The Parent Friend
- The Same-Life-Stage Friend
- The All-Around BFF
- The Group-Setting Friend
- The Go-Getter Friend
- The Amateur Therapist Friend
- The Blast-from,-the-Past Friend
- Chapter 21. Ten Ways to Have a Vibrant Social Life When You Don't Have Friends Yet
- Joining Groups and Attending Events
- Attending Community Events
- Creating Meaningful Experiences by Volunteering
- Becoming Involved in Your Religious Congregation
- Joining a Senior Center
- Having a Weekly Social Commitment
- Starting Your Own Business
- Dating Yourself to Create a Fulfilling Social Life
- Making an Online Friend
- Being a Friendly Caller or Friendly Visitor
- Index