So gay for you Friendship, found family, & the show that started it all

Leisha Hailey, 1971-

Book - 2025

"An intimate, hilarious memoir of art, friendship, queerness, and found family by Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey, stars of The L Word-including never-before-shared stories and photos from behind the scenes of the show and their personal lives. "Are you comfortable with nudity?" my manager asked. In the early 2000s, Kate Moennig and Leisha Hailey-both young artists trying to figure it all out-met at auditions for an unknown little TV show. Given that it was a show about lesbians living in Los Angeles, with the first ever ensemble cast of openly queer female characters, Kate and Leisha knew the project was going to be unlike anything else out there-that is, if it even got picked up. Then, one million people watched the premiere.... The show, which came to be called The L Word, turned into a trailblazing phenomenon. Its influence on pop culture, in the political arena, and in the lives of viewers has been lasting, impactful, even life-saving. And in addition to changing the course of television history, The L Word changed Kate and Leisha's lives forever. From their first day on set, Kate and Leisha have always had each other's backs, inseparable to the degree that the cast joked they were like a pair of pants-you couldn't have one leg without the other. Hence the name for their joint podcast, PANTS-launched in 2020 and now downloaded over 20 million times. This friendship has seen Kate and Leisha through their greatest triumphs and most painful moments, stumbling from closeted queer kids in a hostile culture, to LGBTQ+ activists, actors, podcasters, and business owners. Full of never-before-shared glimpses into the making of The L Word, Kate and Leisha's real-life loves and losses, and their experience as queer icons, So Gay for You is a heartfelt, inspiring love letter to a ride or die friendship over the decades, and a testament to the liberating power of chosen family"-- Provided by publisher.

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  • Prologue: Love at First Sight
  • 1. Learning the Ropes
  • 2. Like Fish out of Water
  • 3. Lights, Camera, Action
  • 4. Lightning in a Bottle
  • 5. Land of Milk and Honeys
  • 6. Labor of Lust
  • 7. Loved and Lost
  • 8. Let's Call the Whole Thing Off
  • 9. Lost and Found
  • 10. Long Live the Buzzsox
  • 11. Losing the Plot
  • 12. Liberty and Justice for All
  • Epilogue: Like a Pair of Pants
  • Acknowledgments
  • Photos
Review by Library Journal Review

As the first television series to feature an ensemble cast of openly queer women characters and the first series to be written and primarily directed by queer women, The L-Word's impact on television and popular culture is groundbreaking. In their cowritten memoir, cast members and best friends Moennig and Hailey share their experiences as young artists trying to find their way in the industry. The two seamlessly weave their stories together and show the strength of their friendship. Not only is their memoir an insider's view into the making of The L-Word, which ran from 2004 to 2009, but it's also the story of being young and queer in the 1980s and '90s. The two openly share about growing up, finding their way to New York City, and first meeting when they auditioned against one another. They mix humor, pain, love, and loss throughout this vulnerable and thoughtful memoir. With so few memoirs by queer women who came of age during the AIDS epidemic, Moennig and Hailey's openness about their personal and professional lives makes this book more than just a look into a TV series. VERDICT Well-written and accessible, this book will appeal to fans of The L-Word, memoir readers, and those interested in queer history.--Rebekah J. Buchanan

(c) Copyright Library Journals LLC, a wholly owned subsidiary of Media Source, Inc. No redistribution permitted.
Review by Kirkus Book Review

The story of a 2004-09 lesbian melodrama and the two powerhouse actors behind its success. Hailey and Moennig showcase the intimate details of their lives and careers in a dual memoir that begins with auditions in the early aughts for a proposed Showtime pilot hoping to ride on the success ofQueer As Folk about a group of modern, sexually active Los Angeles lesbians calledEarthlings. In alternating perspectives, Hailey and Moennig describe how the show's development (and eventual name change to the more suitableThe L Word) arrived at a time in both of their lives when acting work was desperately welcomed: Hailey was in a struggling rock band and Moennig was an actress "hungry for work." While the show's sudden popularity and their resultant fame was unexpectedly and head-spinningly brisk, both women managed to survive and thrive amid the pressures of Hollywood. Hailey was cast as Alice, a bisexual journalist, while Moennig portrayed edgy bed-hopping lesbian Shane, each to rousing success. In breezy, conversational prose, the writers affably share their separate histories: Hailey, an outgoing tomboy, emerged from "small and safe" Midwestern Nebraska roots with liberal parents, and freewheeling Moennig, whose mother was a popular Broadway dancer, was surrounded by gay men growing up in Philadelphia and was frequently misgendered in grade school. The authors' queer identities emerged early, and their contributed experiences and differing interpersonal relationships helped gel their integration withThe L Word cast and informed their unique performances in the sexually frank series, which went on to garner groundbreaking critical acclaim. Insider details on salary negotiations, character development, evolving storylines, set energy, spinoffs, reboots, and, of course, the show's grand impact on the queer community and governmental politics add substance as both women conclude with appreciation and gratitude. A resonant and uplifting dual portrait of queer entertainment media in action. Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.

Copyright (c) Kirkus Reviews, used with permission.